As promised, I've put together a quick list of 10 tips to help you negotiate the upcoming holidays. Here goes...
- Be intentional and decisive about how you spend the holidays Families tend to expect the same behaviors each year, so if you set precedence from the start, of doing holidays separately, it's harder to break that pattern later on. Be smart, intentional, honest, and true to yourself about how you organize your holiday plans.
- Consider how your heterosexual brothers and sisters manage their holiday dilemmas. Do not allow your families to dictate HOW you approach the holidays. Take responsibility for your holidays and insure that what you are doing captures the essence of the season for you (if you are single), and for you and your partner if you are in a relationship.
- Be creative. Consider options that are brand new. Start your own rituals. Instead of looking only at the options that are posed to you, create options of your own.
- Host holidays at your house, inviting both families causing others to have to make a choice, rather than you
- Alternate holidays (e.g. this year T-giving with my family and X-mas with yours, next the opposite)
- Go on vacation instead together during the holidays and celebrate holidays before or after the actual holiday
- Split the day between both families (if within reasonable driving distance)