Okay, my headline is a little misleading. But since I deal almost exclusively in shameless provocation, did you expect differently?
As you probably already know, a circuit court in Florida, the only state that flat-out bans gay adoption, has ruled that the three decades-old law is unconstitutional, paving the way for wider acceptance of the much-need practice of same-sex couples adopting children (much-needed because in Florida alone 1,000 kids are waiting to find a good home).
Now if the animal kingdom had some kind of formal adoption system set up, perhaps gay penguins wouldn't have to resort to stealing straight couples' eggs to fulfill their yearning to be parents.
You read that correctly. Because they are unable to reproduce, a pair of male penguins in a Chinese zoo has resorted to stealing eggs from straight couples. And in order to cover their tracks, the outlaw duo has been placing stones in place of the eggs in a ingenious display of trickery.
But kidnapping is a no-no even in the animal world, and zoo keepers have segregated the gay birds from the others during hatching season.
I was going to draw some clever parallels between the gay penguins and our gay rights movement, but, after an hour of mulling it over, I have determined that anything I say will be an absurd stretch. Perhaps you will have better luck. Truth is, I just wanted to write about gay penguin baby bandits.