Prince Gomolvilas

Gay Duo Kidnaps Babies From Straight Couples

Filed By Prince Gomolvilas | December 01, 2008 4:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Entertainment
Tags: Animal Kingdom, gay adoption, gay penguins

Okay, my headline is a little misleading. penguins.jpgBut since I deal almost exclusively in shameless provocation, did you expect differently?

As you probably already know, a circuit court in Florida, the only state that flat-out bans gay adoption, has ruled that the three decades-old law is unconstitutional, paving the way for wider acceptance of the much-need practice of same-sex couples adopting children (much-needed because in Florida alone 1,000 kids are waiting to find a good home).

Now if the animal kingdom had some kind of formal adoption system set up, perhaps gay penguins wouldn't have to resort to stealing straight couples' eggs to fulfill their yearning to be parents.

You read that correctly. Because they are unable to reproduce, a pair of male penguins in a Chinese zoo has resorted to stealing eggs from straight couples. And in order to cover their tracks, the outlaw duo has been placing stones in place of the eggs in a ingenious display of trickery.

But kidnapping is a no-no even in the animal world, and zoo keepers have segregated the gay birds from the others during hatching season.

I was going to draw some clever parallels between the gay penguins and our gay rights movement, but, after an hour of mulling it over, I have determined that anything I say will be an absurd stretch. Perhaps you will have better luck. Truth is, I just wanted to write about gay penguin baby bandits.


Recent Entries Filed under Entertainment:

Leave a comment

We want to know your opinion on this issue! While arguing about an opinion or idea is encouraged, personal attacks will not be tolerated. Please be respectful of others.

The editorial team will delete a comment that is off-topic, abusive, exceptionally incoherent, includes a slur or is soliciting and/or advertising. Repeated violations of the policy will result in revocation of your user account. Please keep in mind that this is our online home; ill-mannered house guests will be shown the door.


Gay penguin baby bandits?

ROFLMAO!

We've always been quite the set of clever motherfuckers ;).

Brynn Craffey Brynn Craffey | December 1, 2008 8:40 PM

The photo is too damned cute!!!

Yeah for gay penguins. Why can't the zookeeper just let them steal a baby?

All those little penguins need are little bow-ties! They look like they're going out on the town!!!! (I hope they have a babysitter for their little ones)!

I'm with Serena - this is a natural part of penguin behavior. The zookeepers should realize that it's supposed to be as close to the natural environment as can be replicated, not a circus where each animal has to perform a role to put on a show for the crowds.

Besides, where would penguins be as a species if not for kidnapping?

Surely there are orphaned penguin babies that need parents, aren't there? Can't the gay couple get their flippers on one of those...or does the process take years and tons of paperwork? Just wondering.

I appreciate the campy humor in this story about the penguins. However, the males aren't gay; they're just fulfilling genetic instincts. If the penguins attempted to have sex with each other only then could they be considered gay.

but the genetic instincs if straight would be to pair bond with an opposite sex penguin....... if they chose each other same sex to pair bond and not mate with a female they are a gay couple.. there is an article about two gay penguins who were brought two female penguins and refused to mate wiht the females. The pair bonding is their way of making a couple not how we pair off and have sex because we can. Their exclusivity as a pair of males makes them a gay couple.

but it is hilarous that they would steal eggs from others and put rocks in place of the stolen eggs. They are showing that know they can't have an eg but that they as a couple should have an egg to raise just like "all the other couples".. They have no adoption and can't talk like we do but their instincts say we are a couple we should raise kids....

That is powerful. It shows even in the animal kingdom that a couples instincts don't change just because they are not a 'traditional couple',,, they are like everyone else which is what we have been trying to say to the world whether we want gay marriage personally or not.

but the genetic instincts if straight would be to pair bond with an opposite sex penguin....... if they chose each other same sex to pair bond and not mate with a female they are a gay couple.. there is an article about two gay penguins who were brought two female penguins and refused to mate wiht the females. The pair bonding is their way of making a couple not how we pair off and have sex because we can. Their exclusivity as a pair of males makes them a gay couple.

but it is hilarious that they would steal eggs from others and put rocks in place of the stolen eggs. They are showing that know they can't have an egg because they cannot even with intercourse because the penguins have to mate to produce eggs. They may not have had what we humans consider s successful physical relationship but they paired off anyway. Hmmm let me take that back. They had to have some sort of something because they know eggs must be a results of a pair bonding, but that they as a couple should have an egg to raise just like "all the other couples".. They have no adoption and can't talk like we do but their instincts say we are a couple we should raise kids....

That is powerful. It shows even in the animal kingdom that a couples instincts don't change just because they are not a 'traditional couple',,, they are like everyone else which is what we have been trying to say to the world whether we want gay marriage personally or not.