The Bilerico Project | Daily experiments in LGBTQ

Merry Christmas, Projectors!

As an early Christmas gift to you, I'm presenting another one of my infamous song rewrites. I posted this on TransGriot, but this one needed to be shared with y'all as well.

This holiday-themed one was spawned by the recent news that Sherry Johnston, mother of Levi Johnston and soon to be grandmother of Levi and Bristol Palin's due any day now baby boy, was arrested by Alaska State Police in a drug investigation.

This situation was too irresistible not to put in song format, so fire up those iPod's and sing along with the rewritten holiday lyrics.

Grandma Just Got Busted In A Drug Deal

(sung to the tune of 'Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer' by the Irish Rovers)

Grandma just got busted in a drug deal
By Alaska state police before Christmas Eve
Because the other grandma is the governor
Doesn't mean that you'll get a reprieve

She'd been under investigation
For several months as we now know
She'd been selling Oxycontin,
Got busted as she stepped out in the snow.

Bailed her out before Christmas mornin,'
In Wasilla now she's back.
But next month grandma's got a court date
And the DA won't be cutting her any slack

Grandma just got busted in a drug deal
By Alaska state police before Christmas Eve
Because the other grandma is the governor
Doesn't mean that you'll get a reprieve

Now we're all concerned for Levi
He's probably not takin' this so well.
He's been working in the North Slope oil fields
And he's probably hollerin' 'what the hell?'

Bristol's had her baby shower
She's due any day now that's a fact
And we just can't help but wonder:
If Grandma Sarah thinks the situation's wacked?
(Yes, it's wacked)

Grandma just got busted in a drug deal
By Alaska state police before Christmas Eve
Because the other grandma is the governor
Doesn't mean that you'll get a reprieve

Grandma Sarah didn't call a press conference
But she took pains to enunciate
Through a government media spokesperson,
'This isn't a matter of Alaska state'.

So there it is my friends and neighbors.
A story as bizarre as it can be
It's a perfect holiday example
Of conservative family values and hypocrisy

Grandma just got busted in a drug deal
By Alaska state police before Christmas Eve
Because the other grandma is the governor
Doesn't mean that you'll get a reprieve
(Sing it, Sarah)

Grandma just got busted in a drug deal
By Alaska state police before Christmas Eve
Because the other grandma is the governor
Doesn't mean that you'll get a reprieve