I'm a sucker for holiday tunes. And one of my favorites is "Grown-up Christmas List."

This season, with all that has happened, it strikes an even bigger chord with me, especially the opening line of the chorus:

No More Lives Torn Apart...

This was a hard year for our community. We lost too many lives to anti-LGBT violence. We saw amendments pass against our relationships, not just marriage but against civil unions and domestic partnerships in some states. We saw our right to adopt children taken away in one state. We greeted this holiday season with the news that some of our marriages may be dissolved against our will.

Lives torn apart...

There have been some bright moments, those sparkling seconds in time that allow us to keep hoping, to keep believing that change may come one day. It's these moments that allow us keep going, keep fighting.

There is the knowledge that no matter how hard others may try, they cannot take away my family. They can't touch what is in my heart. They can pass as many laws as they want, say as many horrible things about who I am and who I love as they can mutter. They can make life harder and unfortunately take lives away with their hate and violence.

But they can't change how I feel about those I love.

So this year, as I sit with my husband and our family, and we look back at the year behind us and at the year ahead, this will be my one wish. The one thing that I'll keep looking towards, my goal, the little candle that keeps burning in my heart even in the darkest times is that little refrain of a Christmas song:

No more lives torn apart.

And time will heal all hearts.

This is my grown-up Christmas list.

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