Bil Browning

The Christian Q-tip Caption This

Filed By Bil Browning | December 31, 2008 10:00 AM | comments

Filed in: Living
Tags: caption this photo, Jesus Use Me, Use Me Jesus

Your best caption or witty retort is requested.

JesusUseMe.png

After the jump, mood music to help you fine tune that droll one-off line into a sparkling riposte! Henrietta and Myrna will have you so excited you'll want to go tell it on the mountain too!


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Melanie Davis | December 31, 2008 10:48 AM

Ernest Borgnine's short-lived career fronting the cross-dressing Christian girl band, the Faith Tones, abruptly ended when Aqua Net changed their formulation. Taking the resultant allergic reaction as a sign of God's displeasure with their endeavours, Ernest and the other Faith Tones split up in 1964. Ernest went on to a film career culminating in the TV show Airwolf, and the other two bandmates made their own succeses in the music industry. Ralph Stanley went on to form his own band, KISS, after a bad acid trip, and Herman Butterford changed his name to Yngwe Malmsteen. The rest is rock history.

The fire in their eyes in the video says it all. I can't believe I watched this. My preferred family values video these days is Single Ladies. Put a ring on it. As for these girls, put a ball gag in it.

LOL ... I know.

Where are the horrendous Christian singer bashers when we need them?

I can't believe I watched this.
I find it hard to believe anyone could. I think I made it to the one-minute mark.

"Big Hair Wigs Help Hide Big Cheekbones." Who says yesteryear's drag queens didn't have it easy? ;)

"Jesus use me."

Jesus: Matthew? Mark? Judas?!!!

Jesus Use Me...

...Because I've got a face only Jesus could love.

Marla R. Stevens Marla R. Stevens | December 31, 2008 2:25 PM

1. The Bad, the Badder, and the Ugly
2. WWJD? [What Would (Randy) Jackson Do?]
3. She Bangs, She Bangs

Allan Brauer | December 31, 2008 3:36 PM

Lord, make my hair an instrument of Thy hairpiece;
where there is hatred, let me sow lovely locks;
where there is injury, pardon my bouffant;
where there is doubt, faith in Aqua-net;
where there is despair, rat comb me;
where there is darkness, highlights;
and where there is sadness, Joy's Hair Salon.

The one with glasses - let me guess - Alex ?

You are joking aren't you? A caption? This is way too classic to ruin with a caption of ANY sort..... it says it all for itself!

Why do those three guys look familiar?

The two on the left look like they've been on TV at one time or another. The guy on the right looks like me in one of my mother's wigs.

"The guy on the right looks like me in one of my mother's wigs."

Are either of you related to Jay Leno?


Now I remember them!! I woke up with those three one morning after a nite having broken into the sacramental wine, and they were singing.....


JESUS USE ME

1. DEAR LORD I'LL BE A WITNESS, IF YOU WILL HELP MY WEAKNESS.
I KNOW THAT I'M NOT WORTHY, LORD, OF THEE. BY EYES OF FAITH I SEE THEE, UPON THE CROSS OF CAL-V'RY, DEAR LORD, I CRY, "LET ME THY SERVANT BE"

CHORUS:

JE---SUS. USE ME, AND O LORD, DON'T REFUSE ME, FOR SURELY THERE'S A WORK THAT I CAN DO. AND EVEN THO' IT'S HUMBLE
HELP MY WILL TO CRUMBLE, THO' THE COST BE GREAT, I'LL WORK FOR YOU.

2. I'LL STAND FOR THEE DEAR JESUS, 'THO DEATTH MAY COME MY WAY
I'LL SPREAD THE GOSPEL TO THE FALLEN HERE
BUT IF IT BE THY WILL, TO GO ACROSS THE SEA, LORD, HELP ME TO BE WILLING TO SAY "YES"

REPEAT CHORUS

3. HE'S THE LILY OF THE VALLEY, THE BRIGHT AND MORNING STAR,
HE'S THE FAIREST OF TEN THOUSAND TO MY SOUL'
HE'S THE BEAUTIFUL ROSE OF SHARON, HE'S ALL THE WORLD TO ME, BUT BEST OF ALL HE IS MY COMING KING

REPEAT CHORUS

WORDS AND MUSIC BY MR JACK CAMPBELL & BILLY CAMPBELL

"I'm sorry, but these women just *don't* pass!"

And who could EVER forget..."The higher the hair, the closer to God?"

Were these the three who lost out to the Ladybids to be Benny Hill's singers?