Hi Cathryn,

My post is not about all of us huddling around a campfire singing Kumbaya, it is about each of us living our lives individually. And without restriction or fear of retribution for having a life path that falls outside of societal norms, which is incorrectly perceived as a threat by those filled with fear and insecurity.

You put in a quote that I said “loves and embraces”, but I never wrote about loving or embracing anyone. As much as I wish it were possible, it is ridiculous for me to spout out "Universal Love." As humans, we are far too imperfect, too emotional, and insecurity-driven to embrace that concept with any wide-reaching success. The best I can achieve in my own heart is love, like, don’t care, or “stay the Hell away from.” Why would I expect more from the rest of the World? I do apply the Golden Rule in life. I don’t want to be judged; therefore, I work hard not to judge others.

If you re-read my post, the theme is that harmony works because the notes are different from one another AND they are indifferent to that fact. They each go about their purpose oblivious to the others. Sometimes the sounds they make together are incredibly beautiful, the whole being greater than the sum of the notes, other times not-so-much, and still other times like nails on a chalkboard.

I consider myself pragmatic, as well. Outside of my children or partner, why should it matter to me if a man is attracted to other men? It doesn’t. My life is unaffected if my neighbor, co-worker, or a stranger I see at the mall presents as male when they sport a vagina – no matter how obvious it may or may not be.

And, even if the person at hand is my child or my partner, if may affect me, but it still does not give me the right to judge. The day I am perfect I will cast my first stone. Nobody has to worry about that happening any time soon.

What if I fall in love with another woman? Like you, (outside of my kids) I couldn't care less if someone approves of, disapproves of, or embraces my life or lifestyle. Now, Heaven help the person who tries to impose their dominance in my world.

As for living by the Golden Rule, I believe that it is no one’s business how I live my life, so that is how I choose to treat others. I’ll spend my time cleaning up my own side of the street before I waste my life trying to oversee anyone else’s. (My control freak parenting aside, of course. :))

Hi Cathryn,

My post is not about all of us huddling around a campfire singing Kumbaya, it is about each of us living our lives individually. And without restriction or fear of retribution for having a life path that falls outside of societal norms, which is incorrectly perceived as a threat by those filled with fear and insecurity.

You put in a quote that I said “loves and embraces”, but I never wrote about loving or embracing anyone. As much as I wish it were possible, it is ridiculous for me to spout out "Universal Love." As humans, we are far too imperfect, too emotional, and insecurity-driven to embrace that concept with any wide-reaching success. The best I can achieve in my own heart is love, like, don’t care, or “stay the Hell away from.” Why would I expect more from the rest of the World? I do apply the Golden Rule in life. I don’t want to be judged; therefore, I work hard not to judge others.

If you re-read my post, the theme is that harmony works because the notes are different from one another AND they are indifferent to that fact. They each go about their purpose oblivious to the others. Sometimes the sounds they make together are incredibly beautiful, the whole being greater than the sum of the notes, other times not-so-much, and still other times like nails on a chalkboard.

I consider myself pragmatic, as well. Outside of my children or partner, why should it matter to me if a man is attracted to other men? It doesn’t. My life is unaffected if my neighbor, co-worker, or a stranger I see at the mall presents as male when they sport a vagina – no matter how obvious it may or may not be.

And, even if the person at hand is my child or my partner, if may affect me, but it still does not give me the right to judge. The day I am perfect I will cast my first stone. Nobody has to worry about that happening any time soon.

What if I fall in love with another woman? Like you, (outside of my kids) I couldn't care less if someone approves of, disapproves of, or embraces my life or lifestyle. Now, Heaven help the person who tries to impose their dominance in my world.

As for living by the Golden Rule, I believe that it is no one’s business how I live my life, so that is how I choose to treat others. I’ll spend my time cleaning up my own side of the street before I waste my life trying to oversee anyone else’s. (My control freak parenting aside, of course. :))

Hi Eshto,

My post was strictly targeted at an individual level about people’s lifestyles. When you say you don’t tolerate homophobia, how do you apply that to interactions in your day-to-day life?

You meet “Joe” and realize he suffers from homophobia, what do you do? You can try to educate him if you want, but if that doesn’t work, the best you can do is to avoid him. What other moral and legal solution should there be? You cannot force him to be non-homophobic. Tolerance or intolerance is not the correct answer. He is entitled to his belief system just as much as you are entitled to yours. The answer isn’t agree to disagree, but to understand that however pathetic Joe’s belief system may be, it’s none of anyone’s business - as long as he is not attempting to force his beliefs on others or harming anyone.

What society cannot allow is if Joe chooses to act on his homophobia in a way that is harmful to yourself or others. And that is a completely different subject.

Gee Emily.......
For the sake of discussion, I'm heterosexual and post everything intersexed, consider myself more "cis" than anything else. Using those terms to separate yourself accomplishes little IMHO. I "tolerate" bigots myself, to the extent they keep their bigotry out of my face. They can be trans people, gay men, lesbians as well as straights and totally gender normative. Bigotry knows no sexual orientation or gender identity. Just food for thought.

Hi Emily,

That is why I actually believe in a variation of the "don't ask, don't tell" policy of the military.

If the world applied that on a broad spectrum, life would be great. Because in our day-to-day lives, why does our gender, our sexual orientation, our racial heritage matter, our size, etc. matter? None of it makes any quantifiable difference.

If we take the true opposite of "don't ask don't tell", we could all walk around like personal ads with little name badges that read "SHWF" or "GBTSF". Wouldn't that be ridiculous?

Yet, if, at an individual level, we apply a "don't ask, don't tell, don't judge" philosophy to those around us, the world would truly be a much better place.