No this isn't about yet another year of making a new year's resolution to drop all those extra holiday pounds (although I have done that again this year). As I was looking back at the past year, I realized I spent a large portion of it angry.
Now I'm sure every person involved in politics and activism has those times, the rough patches, that can threaten to burn them out. Sometimes the defeats pile up so high that you move from one hard fought battle to the next and lose sight of what you are fighting for.
And I have to wonder, by spending so much time deliriously angry, have I let the other side win, even just a little bit...
Now make no make mistake, there has been much to be angry over this past year. Horrendous hate crimes that shook many of us to our core. Having rights stripped away at the ballot box. Listening to our lives, families, and very existence be attacked and degraded. All these things really had a profound impact on my outlook this year.
It was a year that I just put my nose to the grindstone, worked as hard as I could, and tried to take on each new fight with the same vigor as the last. And every battle left me a little more jaded, a little more bitter, and with a little more baggage to carry around.
And it should have. We have every right to be angry.
But I lost sight of the fact that I was fighting to live my life, to love who I choose, and to be safe with my family. I was fighting to live happier, but not savoring the happiness that came along, as brief as those moments were. Looking back, I realize that in the midst of digging my trenches to fend off attacks on my rights, I also had one of the best moments of my life.
I married my husband.
I had a taste of the happiness that I've been fighting for. So while I may still get angry and get lost in the fight at times in the coming year, I hope this is one resolution I can keep: to enjoy the little moments of happiness that we fight for. To not only fight, but to live and live as fully as I can.
And to drop a few extra pounds.
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5 Comments
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2008 will be a memorial year for me as well. I saw gay Californians get the right to marry (some are my friends,) then have it taken away from them. I got to see friends attend the DNC and expand the education on our rights. TAVA put out a survey that has already helped transgender veterans.
Congress head hearings on transgender employment rights and DADT. Gay people in Connecticut can now get married, a hateful initiative in Montgomery County, MD was defeated and LGBT people gained rights in other cities and states. Diane Schror won her case against the Library of Congress. And, Obama won the Presidency.
But, we lost LGBT people because of hate. I cried each time. There is a lot of education left to do.
On a more personal level, I joined a woman's pool players league and I'm having a great time. And, I fell in love deeper than I have ever have in my life, but she broke my heart harder then ever. Yet, we became best friends.
Yeah. 2008 will be a year to remember . . . and forget.
MonicaHelms | January 3, 2009 6:22 PM
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Honey, the magic of life is to concentrate on all those wonderful moments, people, and situations that make your life come alive. There will always be new problems and no one's life is ever perfect. But you can have moments of perfection and places, friends and loved ones to give you strength.
Remember, the whole of the world does not need you working 24/7 and keep laughing and loving.
And Live your Life.
Happy New Year to you and Anthony.
Robert Ganshorn | January 3, 2009 11:20 PM
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Happy New Year, Waymon!
Since I spent a lot of time on the phone with you this past year - listening to your complaints while you sat thru mine - I'd like to join you in your resolution please. Not only does it seem fitting, but I think it'll do us both good to have support on this one! :)
Bil Browning | January 4, 2009 1:17 AM
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We'll see how you feel on Feb 21 when you join Chip and can no longer say that you are half as old as I am.
You're welcome to join me on that date and go out and yell at the kids to GET OFF THE LAWN.
Bill Vayens | January 4, 2009 10:47 AM
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I look forward to reading the Zen of Waymon Hudson.
:)
Alex Blaze | January 6, 2009 2:33 PM
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