Naturally, I am going to agree that making marriage the priority for the movement is a mistake. I'm not a fan of hate crimes laws as I don't much like the prison-industrial complex. A federal hate crimes law is likely to be the first "gay rights" bill out of the next Congress/administration because it's easy to vote to lock people up. So I wouldn't pick that as the alternative to marriage to focus on. ENDA and state non-discrimination laws -- THAT I totally support. I am sure you are right that the money spent on Prop 8 in California could have done much good in other states on other issues. Not to mention the fact that contributions to fight Prop 8 drew money away from LGBT organizations, resulting in layoffs. And as for the need of LGBT couples, there are some concrete changes that would make a big difference that could be enacted in many states; I write about them in my book, BEYOND (STRAIGHT AND GAY) MARRIAGE, which has just come out in paperback. Of course, same-sex couples should be able to marry, but that won't meet the needs of all LGBT (or straight) relationships. And, as you say, it's about priorities. I'm hoping a trans-inclusive ENDA is high on Obama's list. That's change -- and equality -- I would really believe in.

Hate Crimes, ENDA, and possibly DADT are shoe-in's in 2009; there's NO FIGHT. Congress will pass it; it has the votes and popular support.

Tell us, what's left after that? Uniting Families Act and marriage.

I agree, of course, that gay marriage should not be the priority. And Nancy Polikoff's book offers perspectives on how to construct a society alternatives to a state-sanctioned form of a relationship that only privileges the few over the many that suffer from economic inequality - and who may have no desire to marry in order to escape the same.

But hate crimes legislation (HCL) is a terrible idea. It makes no sense to argue that crimes against some are somehow worse than the crimes against others - we have (plenty of) punishment for crimes, how does it make sense to even try to deduce motivation? And why? Enhancing penalties for motive has a)is not proven to be a deterrent b)only ensures that the poorest among us get put in jail for ever (because they can't afford the slick lawyers who could argue on their behalf). For an example of what can happen to those who're given no option but to cop to a hate crimes charge, see a piece I once wrote on a Ohio case:
http://tinyurl.com/7wj6pn

I could go on about HCL, and I will later on. But for now, I'm glad, Jerame, that you pointed out the issues we should be focusing on: how we form our kinship networks, the right to contest discrimination, ENDA.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Jerame for writing what many of us have been saying for years. I hope they will listen to you.

I could not agree more with this post. The point is to keep the eye on the prize while working on goals that are achieve able. People always point to Brown VS Board of education as an achievement but forget all of the smaller suits that lead up to that. It didn't just happen one day, there was hard work along the way.
It does not mean that you forget about marriage but focus on what will do the most good for the most people. I firmly believe that it was bourgeoisie leaders who pushed the marriage issue forgetting about things like employment equity and hate crimes. How poor do you have to be to live in the Castro again (snark) It needs to remember that the community is built upon people from all different backgrounds.

Jerame, I agree with you, too. Down here in Texas, what was happening in California might as well have been happening on Mars (and I say that as a former San Diegan). There's a lot of achievable gains to be made, all over this country.

Here is another argument for state level hate crimes laws. Whenever hate crimes are brought, most everyone go right to the top. "Murder is murder."

The response, "Murder is indeed murder. But, murder is not the only crime that can be a hate crime. Here in Georgia, because we don't have ANY hate crime law, then when a person burns a cross on an African American's lawn, it is nothing more than starting a fire without a permit. Painting a swastika on a synagogue is nothing more than vandalism. Scratching 'faggot" in the paint of someone's car and that too is vandalism."

Arguing hate crimes at the top end of the scale is never going to fly. Change the direction to the low end of the scale and they can't come back with any credible argument.

How exactly do you see ENDA and hate crimes to be more popular - more easy to achieve (how ever you want to spin this) when they have been in the hands of Congress and various state for decades with only partial enactment at state level?

I think the Bilerico editorial staff draws straws to see whose turn it is to post a column like this on a weekly basis.

What I'm not sure of is what actually defines the winner of the drawing - the writer who has to post or the others that get the week off.

This argument is always made here and it really doesn't make any sense but it keeps coming up. It doesn't make sense because the marriage battles - for the most part - are coming up in the courts and ENDA/Matthew Shepard bills are legislative pieces. They are all happening at the same time. There is no organized (obviously...right?) movement in an underground bunker that is constantly pressing on the marriage peddle while pumping the break on ENDA.

Couples that want to be married are going to court to fight for their rights. The courts are the place that these matter must be resolved and it is not reasonable to ask anyone to pretend it is ok to allow themselves to be denied equal protections and due process because it MIGHT be easier to pass ENDA - 30 years after it was first introduced.

Politicians are dodging bullets by shelving hate crimes or watering ENDA down. There is no fund raising effort to pass ENDA. Hate crimes legislation is not appearing on any state ballot that i know of.

I have a better idea, Jerame, let's stop doing the work of the right wing religionists and the complicit left wing pseudo democrats by playing a shell game with our rights and instead push an agenda for justice on ALL of our issues.

If you want to perpetually refer to the marriage equality debacle as a matter of us imposing on the hegemonic tradition like our opponents do, then you are participating in creating the failures. The 30 amendments are an enormous affront to our citizenship and our democracy (separation of power and church/state). No matter how much money was raised or could be raised in CA there will be no impact on the state of ENDA.

The fight for our constitutional citizenship will not stop. We don't deserve the attacks on our rights. We should fight for ourselves. Whether you choose to see it or not, there is momentum happening. Don't chicken out now.

Exactly what will happen in 2009 or 10 when the hugely stripped down and trans-exclusive ENDA goes to the floor?

All of the infighting will resume, the fires of hell will rise up to consume all of us again.

Unless the various organisationa negotiate RIGHT NOW to settle the ENDA issue, and commit to a form that everyone can at least tacitly support, we will see the community rent apart again and still have this emasculated parody of a civil rights bill.

Let's settle, once and for all, what ENDA must be.
And settle it now. And lets write it in stone and tell Congress now what ENDA must contain

Realality check just because the Dems will have a larger majority dose not mean this buch is LGBT friendly.There will be way more "Blue Dogs" in this congress than you want to admit to so it aint going to be easy to get a EDNA that includes transfolks or a end to Dont ask dont tell or even a socalled hate crimes bill passed. Just because they got the D behind there name dont mean they are a bunch of Liberals. Welcome back to the possable "Boweavle" congress of old .That means deals with the Dawgs and working with the Republicans to get what you want.

The Republicans control the Indiana Senate by a nearly 2 to 1 margin. The House is almost evenly divided. Blue Dog Democrats in the US Congress seem like Pelosi liberals when compared to some of our Indiana Democrats.

And you say for two million you can get a state-wide non-discrimination bill?

Yeah, right.

I have a better idea. Let's make 2009 the year in which LGBT people stop telling other LGBT people what their "issue" should be, and start celebrating the actions of all LGBT people who are working their asses off on one or more of our collective "issues."

There was a time, Jerame, when I would have agreed with you. Marriage was not anywhere near the top of my list, and I too believed we should focus on the seemingly more achievable goals like ENDA and hate crimes.

When Gavin Newsom stirred the pot in SF in 2004, I even thought, as did Nancy Pelosi and other Democrats, that it was terrible timing and would give the "right" a wedge issue to exploit.

But the CA Supreme Court ruled as it did this year, and my domestic partner and I rushed to wed the first day it was legal. And along the way I learned something important.

Straight people love their institution of marriage. And straight people who are generally supportive of LGBT equality LOVE seeing gay people loving marriage. It validates their feelings about marriage and they transfer all their personal warm-and-fuzzies to us.

My straight friends are now extremely militant in favor of marriage equality and furious at the results on Prop 8 and asking me what they can do to help fight this latest campaign to invalidate my marriage.

Is this the most important issue facing us? Maybe not. Should we devote all our energy toward fighting for marriage equality? Definitely not.

But we must understand and appreciate that when we find an issue that hits sympathetic straights in their hearts, we can't afford not to pursue it. We're building the coalitions that will help us win all these rights by pursuing one that matters to them as much or more as to us.

Jerame, I note that in the title of this thread, you put the word "marriage" in quotation marks (although I don't believe you did so anywhere else in the text). Was there a reason for that?

Our opponents have long made it a practice to put quotation marks around "marriage", "gay", and a number of other terms, something that many in the LGBT community, including me, find disparaging.

I Still believe that a push to get trans-rights in Massachusetts, particularly since the Right has targeted the issue for defeat, would be the best place to start.

It is pro-active, it keeps our promises to the trans community, made years ago and so very many times, and it hands the Right a defeat on an issue that they have chosen as their next target.

We can win this. Good time, good place, and the outside groups will be leery to pouring money in after the consequences of prop 8.

We really do owe the trans community this one, and it will end the aura of invincibility that the Right is trying to portray...

I am not gay or trans, but have been an avid, fulltime lgbt civil rights activist for the past 15 years and live in Arkansas. I am most grateful to Jerame's article and for the post Cindy Rizzo wrote. I cut my teeth on activism over 30 yrs ago trying to get the ERA ratified in AR.

The lgbt youth are in dire need of us all. They suffer in silence and fear, as well they feel abandoned by the adult lgbt folks and organizations. This is what I hear from the children who either call, visit or connect with us.

Another matter is hate crime legislation, many of us (families and survivors of bias motivated violence) sought a federal bill that did not enhance penalties but sought a process that required the Justice Dept to investigate and prosecute such crimes when local law enforcement refused to do so. Assault, murder, rape and so forth are illegal nationwide but what recourse do we have when cops and or DA's do not do their job based on bias. Making funds available is important as is requiring reporting but who is going to hold local law accountable? My family has first hand experience with this problem and we are not alone.

I did not read of anyone addressing another problem we have long encountered, the bias I have heard and seen toward transgendered human beings by the some in the gay community. I have seen racism but such is rare compared to tgs bias. I was appalled when I learned that HRC was knowingly excluding gender identity from all legislation they were pushing in Congress some years back. Since then they, with pressure from others, amended the hate crime bill but ENDA remains with the original language that excludes those most impacted with loss of jobs, homes, even the most basic right to use a public restroom.

The discussions on this thread are very important and perhaps 2009 will see a cohesive community emerge with sleeves pulled up and ready to work for equality and in a fashion that leaves no one behind. Maybe it would be helpful to first assist those who are the most impacted, who are the least heard by this form of bias. I can attest that it has not always been easy for those who seek anti-lgbt legislation, to have to speak against a straight, christian grandmother & grandfather type.

Reality is that religion is at the core of this onslaught and to ignore the problem will not make it disappear. Fear is taught in most of the nation's churches. I remember when this was true in white churches in AR toward people of color and verses were quoted then too. I knew that one day, all those bible classes I was required to attend as a child may come in handy and it has. It is equally important to voice the point that religious opinion has no place in our government. It does not say "of the straight people and by the straight people."

I await to read and learn more and appreciate how most on this thread are seeking solutions so as to pursue this multi-faceted civil rights struggle. Remember to include the straight allies and supportive families.

Step 1, let's turn our flamethrowers on some of the straw men. If anybody out there can show me a real, live person who only wants marriage equality, I'll eat your hat.

Politics is the art of the possible. As such it's like negotiation. Starting off by demanding less than you want to end up with is smart because...? Didn't think so.

Everything else is tactics. Is it better tactics to try for ENDA first or the repeal of DADT first or try for a package deal? Ask some smart, sympathetic people, build some consensus, gather some more allies, and get working: A then B then C then D then E then F.

The one thing that the situation in CA on Prop 8 did is to make folks stand up and take notice perhaps for the first time for some that the LGBTQ community can as a grass roots initiative stand up and say something.

People stood up against the mean spirited across this country not just for CA. The nation wide backlash in protests from the LGBTQ was for everyone in this country, coast to coast midwest north near north south and near south. No one in those protests were standing just for what happened in CA it was reallyt a protest against everything we have endured as a minority in all of this country. Marriage just happened to be the match which was lit.

People are not saying that ENDA, equal rights, safe work environments, employment rights etc weren't important EVER, and the rights we stood up for was the right for everyone to at least have a choice whether we excersized that right or not. The ability to have a job not jeopardized because of sexual orientation, safe in housing, etc are things we have a right to as humans. The real thing folks are waking up to is that we have to fight, whether it is for job security, etc in Indiana, Florida, etc we all have fight. And we all have to be behind the local fights because when someone has a fight in AK, we may not be able to run there to fight be we can say yes it is our brothers fighting there. We can support them. We have to fight too in our state but we are fighting not just for Indiana but what we fight for here is important in NJ, NY, TX etc.

If we could get a rally to gather money for the fights not because just marriage couldn't pass muster in IN but pass it around and win in that state such as adoption in FL that would be optimal. I don't think marriage could win in IN either given the climate here politically speaking and the people who live here. But we need to organize.

We don't have an amendment here in IN thank god but thatis ON LY because people fight against it.

In war you gather your strengths and you fight the battles where they are to be fought. you see where the weakest chink in the opponents armour is and you aim for that to beat them. which may be marriage in one state, living rights in another and so on.

Iowa is another state where marriage has been debated but that climate is right for that. It is not just that the coastal states are more progressive as the OC in CA was founded by a group of Indiana people who moved there taking their values with them. The marriage battle in CA was only because the rights had been given and folks voted to take them away.

GA has a lot more conservatives in it though you might only hear of ATL because it is so progressive.

Once a people is awakened to fight we need to strategize and fight the battles where they are and can be won.

LGBTQ youth need help, homeless LGBTQ youth need help, those kids struggling with suicide thoughts, etc need help. We who work in states which have no protections for us keeping our jobs need help. The places where crimes are being perpetrated against us need help getting the law officers to report them and liasons too but the CA marriage vote and the anger it stirred up made people see we are serious to fight. Do you think that folks who had to report the news in Indy Star
just said well OK we will write this better and the liason for LGBTQ in Indy was established just because Bil and the Trans organization just walked up or called them on their stuff? It was that plus the fact we are are fighting for our rights protesting against stuff like Prop 8. The way we have been incensed over the murder of LGBTQ people and we are speaking up on that more now, There was of group Join the Impact folks in CA who began talking about the rape in richmond Ca of the lesbian and some began a donation for her and going out with flyers to help find the people involved. That was sparked by the propr 8 protests on Join the Impact individuals taking this up because we stood up and got out and protested as a country in all 50 states on an issue which involves the whole LGBTQ community not just CA.

The woman in Memphis needs our help too who was shot. if someone who reads this in Memphis would reach out and start something in Memphis that would be good. The article Bil wrote out Taysia and his going to the Indy Star and the Trans org going to bat for us is known in Join the Impact and people there are excited that this blog is up and that yu guys did something here to further the cause of the struggle we all share. every battle is important and it is not just regional. We are all important midwest, south, north, west east southwest, etc.

You may not want to serve in the military but I believe if someone is fired up to do that from LGBTQ they should be able to do so without fear of losing their active status because of their sexual orientation being known.

legislation takes money and voices. We may have voices and not money but we are all fighting and it should not be with each other. if we need to hammer out some clarity good.

Jerame’s piece is a contribution of what has to end up as an organizational and political plan to end the tide of successful attacks on same sex marriage and GLBT rights. His remarks raise more questions than they answer.

Same sex marriage, by and large, is not a fight we chose but a series of defensive battles imposed on us. In the mid nineties there was a chance that Hawaii might permit same sex marriages. Bob Barr, a right wing bigot and racist wrote DOMA to prevent that. It was immediately championed by both parties. The role of Bill Clinton and the Democrat Congressional leadership was particularly repulsive and bigoted in regard to DOMA. They voted for it overwhelmingly.

Clinton, who’d angered unions and environmentalists with NAFTA faced a uncertain election. He rushed to sign it late the night it passed (when there were no reporters around) so Democrats could buy time on christist radio stations in Dixie. In those ads Clinton boasted about his love of traditional marriage to pick up the bigot vote. (This was before he didn’t have sex with Monica [Lewinski not Helms!] but after he stopped not inhaling. Presumably.)

From the 2000 election until now Republicans have pushed DOMAs, many of them constitutional laws and won virtually all those battles. In most cases the Democrats followed Bill Clinton’s advice that same sex marriage is the ‘kiss of death’ and refrained from defending us.

unnecessary . It was caused by the holy trifecta of Obama’s bigotry it’s skillful exploitation by Mormon and catholic cults leaders. They clobbered us. No on 8 ran a campaign scarred by Eurocentric disregard for minority communities, abject cowardice on the question of Obama’s bigotry and financial sabotage and across the board political and technical ineptitude. That’s because No on 8 was run by Democrats. Nevertheless we were still winning, had outspent the bigots, led in the polls and would have won if Yes on 8 hadn’t gone all out with a massive campaign quoting Obama’s bigoted, superstition driven remarks about same sex marriage.

It’s by no means assured that we’ll continue to lose on this question, but the only way to turn it around is to do it independently of careerists associated with the Democrat Party.

Our movement has to be independent and massive to win. And right now we lack such an organizaional entity; it'll have to be created as a democratically run, independent, nationwide activist group to discuss and debate not only our agenda but the strategy of building mass independent movements to achieve it. We need to have elected leaders and democratic decisions about program and strategy. Discussions like this have gone on for a long time but they won’t bear fruit until we build that kind of organization.

Jerame,
Brilliant and brave,

Wow from all the posts, I can see there are a lot of people with a lot of time on their hands...which I hope does not mean they are out of work, ouch!!

2009 is about reality and lack of childish behaviors!!! Our tribes are needful of jobs, stability and simple order. Disputes, horror, hate and other realities are still massive I get it. Though it is the time to use every skill we have to find our roots, our backbone and gather. Become productive, well and focused tribes again.

I started activism when I was 15 yrs old and marched in Selma. I am no further than anyone else in any of the rants above, I am just going to ask for help from any Circle I can to stay focused and choose simple or chaos.

EarthThunder