Monica,
This was an interesting article. This is the part that made me sit back and just nod...

And if the older generation doesn't wish to reclaim the word, we don't need to. The younger generation will reclaim it for us, whether we want them to or not. It's the natural order of things.

It is a hard lesson for this newly minted 50-something brain to wrap itself around. I think I'll hang it over my desk.

Many trans people are reclaiming the words "trannie" and "tranny," and they appear to be mostly the younger people in our community. They seem to understand the need to neutralize the affect that others have in wanting to offend us.

I think this represents a fairly common and rather large misunderstanding of why a lot of (but not all) younger folks use words like queer, or tranny, or faggot, or transdisaster, or whatever it may be. For me it's not about neutralizing an offensive word, it's about aligning myself with a radical political identity.

Let me put it this way. It's like, ok, well if Joe Solmonese is gay then I'm definitely not that. So I must be a faggot.

It's really not young folks who are trying to change the meaning of words -- it's participants in the assimilationist, mainstream gay rights movement who are fighting to transform the word gay into something indistinguishable from the word straight. That’s where the real language shift is occurring. But I want a word that won't slide smoothly down anyone's throat. Something that says, yes I am different for all of these glamorous and tragic reasons, and I don’t have, or want, any place in this violently racist, anti-womyn, queerphobic, culture we live in.

My feelings aside, it is simple. If someone finds that word, or label, offensive, or
derogatory,than don't use it. It's not about reclaiming anything, it's about treating someone with dignity and respect. It may serve us better to reclaim that,
than to reclaim words that were designed to be hateful. It is a matter of personal preference, and above all,
we should the decency to respect that. If you choose to embrace that label/word, then that should be
respected. But villifying one another over terms like those serves no one.

It's participants in the assimilationist, mainstream gay rights movement who are fighting to transform the word gay into something indistinguishable from the word straight. That’s where the real language shift is occurring. But I want a word that won't slide smoothly down anyone's throat.

Right on, Nick!!

Count me in with the "young-at-heart" trannies who also embrace the word queer for the reasons you've so well explained.

Monica, I'd been under the impression that the word "faggot" gained parlance during the witch trials in Europe, when not only a horrifically high number of women were burned at the stake, but also countless gay men?

We had this discussion on a listserv a short while ago, on words like "tranny," "shemale," etc. And while they're not words I would use to describe myself, I've come to a point where I take much less offence from someone who says "that's a cute shemale" than someone who spits out "$%@^#$@ transsexual." Of course, I'll correct them on it, but the bottom line is that the intent and context say more to me than the words themselves.

That, and the fact that I am sooooo tired of labels to begin with. :)

Great post, Monica. I actually had lots of discussions on labels and language at the conference this past week and a lot of people seem to feel like Nick (great comment, btw!).

It is always hard to walk the line between not offending others and using a word you feel describes you best.

I always say that labels belong on cans and not on people. I also find it interesting when someone actually marries themselves to a label, then spends a great deal of time defending their choice.

Personally, I see labels as part of my activist toolbox. I wear the appropriate one when I am talking to people because not everyone is comfortable with one label or another, or understand one label over another. The only label that really matters is "Monica." That's the box I live in.

I left this in a comment on a similar thread over at PHB:

I know a quite a few people who don't identify as L, G, B, or T, but who identify as queer (and have sex with members of the same or both sexes). It just works better for them. And depending on how annoying some gay men have been, sometimes I feel like jumping the "G" ship and keeping both feet firmly planted on "Q." Sometimes the way gay male identity is deployed I feel like I have to have a penthouse in NYC, be looking to get married, and be on a perpetual diet to be a real gay men, and that's so not me.

and:

This all reminds me of a chapter from Miss Manners Rescues Civilization (a truly great book on American etiquette) where she discusses how to refer to a married woman. Mrs. Jane Husbandslastname? Ms. Jane Husbandslastname? Mrs. John Husbandslastname? Ms. Jane Maidenname? Mrs. Jane Maidenname-Husbandslastname? Ms. Jane Husbandslastname-Maidenname? Etc.

There are people who prefer all sorts of things there, and Miss Manners just asks for us to use in good faith whatever we think the other person would want and use whatever they want to be called when it's pointed out. And people who are called something incorrect should take it with good humor and also take the initiative to politely point out what they prefer.

I'll also ditto what Nick said and add that, to me, queer has a different plain meaning than "gay" does. It includes a different group of people and describes a different idea.

Good post...fascinating overview of how language changes. I do disagree that the word "queer" has been neutralized in the LGBT community. A certain faction have succeeded at imposing its usage, and they even get a few heterosexual media to use it. But for some of us (including myself) it is still a negative term.

Thanks for this article, Monica. It was an awakening for me to know that anyone found tranny offensive. To me there is a beautiful ring to it, it kind of rolls off the tongue, better than transgender or such.

Not to mention I'm word-lazy, and like cutting back on the amount of words used.

That said, I don't use it in public or with anyone other than friends who are trans or queer.

As to queer, I love the word. I think it describes me perfectly, and actually the person I would love to be- "strange, unusual."

To Marc's comments, if I referred to myself as queer, and someone told me not to refer to myself as queer, I would tell them to mind their own damn business.

To me its just allowing people to identify however they like. We're all strange in our own ways.

So if someone said to me, I don't like being called a tranny, I would absolutely respect that, but I expect others to respect my choice on how I identify as well.

Great post Monica!

HMM. Intersting sets of comments here. But I kind of fail to see the significance of many as it relates to the virtues of respect and dignity to others. And how we comport ourselves accordingly based on how we view, and respect ourselves. Are we acquiring and putting on labels, or rejecting them to prove something to ourselves, or others?
To me I am a human being worthy of respect,
dignity, and equal consideration under the law like everyone else. No matter what label I choose to discard, or affectatiously decide to put on.

FWIW, I'm far less upset about the word itself as much as angered someone gets all pissy when they're asked to stop using it because some people find it hurtful.

That's when I feel like I'm being arrogantly diss'ed.

Unfortunately,Monica,I can't tell u that. Maybe for some,
they never spoke up and said they didnt like it until now because they feel more empowered now. Maybe some came to that position after having embracing it before. Maybe some just simply hadn't given much thought to it before since they thought noone else underTHE LGBTQ UMBRELLA were paying much attention them until now. Which we haven't. This search for answers may just be a sign that you and others can now begin defining yourselves on your own terms. To me, that is a wonderful thing. But what do I know? I still have problems calling my ex David, by her new name: CHRISSY. LOVE AND PEACE,
Steve

I wrote this in my PHB piece on this from February 3rd, entitled Nuance Lost On Some LGBT Journalists Using The Term "Tranny":

I believe the nuance her is that most people (but not all) who identify as queer would consider themselves as belonging to the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community, but not everyone who identifies as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender would say they belong to the queer community. In other words, for the most part the nuance of using the term queer is that queer functionally is a subset of the LGBT community -- which is why many people add a Q to LGBT -- but that LGBT isn't a subset of Q. With this in mind (in my opinion), legacy and new LGBT media should reflect in it's coverage that the term queer community isn't interchangeable with term LGBT community.

And...

My comment is that their are nuances to using the term tranny, much as there are nuances to using the term queer. And, my problem isn't that some LGBT media and reporters use the term tranny, but that they don't comprehend the nuances of when -- and how -- to use the term.

And here's the nuance -- people who identify as a tranny (for the most part) identify as transgender, but not everyone who identifies as transgender identifies as a tranny. Those who identify as trannies are a subset of broader transgender community; the terms tranny and transgender aren't interchangeable terms.

And, just as it is with the term queer being considered a defamatory epithet to many LGBT people, to a good number of those who identify as transgender -- but not as trannies -- consider the term tranny to be defamatory epithet.

I fall on the side with Donna Rose. I don't want to personally be identified as a tranny; I personally see the term tranny as more of a epithet then a term that I would want to reclaim.

And hey, I've recently had the term tranny hurled at me as an epithet by a clasic transsexual/woman-born-transsexual. She called me a tranny specifically to minimise me as a person -- this after I took offense to a lesbian blogger indirectly identifying me as at tranny in a paragraph that also referred to the Buffalo Bill charater in Silence Of The Lambs.

Those who want to reclaim the term are free to do so -- with my blessing should they want my blessing. Just don't label me a tranny in the process, or label all transgender people as a whole as trannies -- I don't identify as a tranny, and I don't believe I'm ever going to want to identify as a tranny. Calling me a tranny definitely insults me.

The reason that tranny is like the N-word is because both of them turn people into objects. It makes people 'less than' and dehumanizes us. It is a way that mainstream people, or people in higher-up minority groups, keep us all in our places.

The struggle for equality of all people means that all struggles are equal. Creating pecking order for who's fight for rights deserves more reverence is misguided, I believe. It is tantamount to saying "How dare you compare your piddling gay struggle with the (trumpets please) Civil Rights Movement".

Some people do not like the comparison because they do not want to be linked to gays. Some on the gay side do not want to offend by making the comparison. They are, however, both struggles for human dignity.

The problem with 'tranny' is that you slur many different types of people at once. It is also non-representative of people's lives. It disinforms rather than describes. That's what makes it a slur.

Nobody likes to be othered. Why do people insist on being rude and using these terms when it just makes for good neighbors to refrain? When did it become okay to discuss how to label people against their will?

In my opinion, the comparison to horrible racial and ethnic slurs is completely valid. The fact that people outside the trans group don't see the issue highlights the need for discussion. Maybe it time to revisit what equal really means.

I also want to add that I, for one, do not accept labels on the basis that someone who claims to be like me says it is ok. I will decide for myself who is like me, and who gets to label me. There are many of us who do not agree to the would-be rule of apologists. It's like having our own little trans-Herods acting as sycophants to the Romans in the hopes of being appointed leader of Transville.

I would like to stay out of these sorts of things, but as long as certain people keep insisting that they can include people in things against their will, there are going to be disagreements. It is a fundamental lack of respect for other people's identity and dignity, and many people resent it.

You mean 'trannie' doesn't really mean a gearbox? Then, what is that heavy aluminum object that I took out from under my van that doesn't work anymore? And if my van doesn't have that gearbox under it, but I'm under it anyway, can someone say that the van has a dead trannie under it? Or must it fall on me first? And, what if I'm wearing a skirt and mascara while the van falls on me?

This is too confusing.

I think I'll just use 'trannie' to describe gearboxes, and 'human being' to describe people, or whatever name they wish to be known by. It's just easier.

Monica, I hope you don't include me amongst the ones that disrespected or attacked you, or your opinions. I definitely don't hope u felt that didnt do so because you felt to ask yourself and others, a question on identity and it's changing or evolving meanings to you, and others under the LGBTQ UMBRELLA. As for the reasons why I may find it deogatory, has more to do with what I have seen happen to my trans friends when accostted in public at a store, or by family members, where that word is stingingly flung at them to humiliate them, demean them, and make them feel subhuman. And sadder still,
used by those under the LGBTQ umbrella at events or clubs, along with subtle distancing, and penchant as treating them as freaks. I have read Brielle's piece, and need to thank you both for enlightening me further. I merely suggest that sometimes the answers we search for are many times right before us. I do not villify those seek those who feel the need to reclaim labels,words,symbols or the like. As long as they do so in a respectful way, and that they must not use the venom behind that word/label and iuse it against their own for choosing not to reclaim it. I do not mean you, by the way. Steve

Thanks for the link to your great blog post Brielle!

There are a number of journalists' organizations that have banned the use of the word. What do you think
of that?

Monica;
Great article. I have been sitting quietly watching the battle over "Tranny" and wondering what two friends in the Dublin TG band "Ladyface" would think about it, particularly since they used the word in the refrain to their song "Daddy-Oh"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pH1nnqu1Ljk

@Dr. Jillian T. Weiss

I think it is very interesting indeed. I would like to get as much info as I can about this. Would it be possible to post the names of those journalists' organizations which have banned the use of 'the word'. (if you have a lot of info, I'd be glad to receive it at my email)

I'm very curious how that came about and who negotiated it.