Alex Blaze

Compatible Partners launched yesterday

Filed By Alex Blaze | April 02, 2009 12:30 PM | comments

Filed in: Politics
Tags: dating, eHarmony, online dating, relationships

eHarmony, after years of discrimination complaints because they excluded same-sex couples, created an online dating service for gay, lesbian, and bisexual people.

If you remember, the company ascended quickly a few years back with help from their friends at FOTF. They didn't offer "men seeking men" or "women seeking women" because, as their excuse went, they only researched straight relationships, not same-sex ones.

It seems like they're sticking to the claim that straights are from Venus and queers are from Mars. They have a system that somehow encompasses all the diversity among heterosexuals but can't compute when it comes to teh gayz (bold-faced, all-caps, extra-large font theirs):

YOU UNDERSTAND AND ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THE COMPANY'S PATENTED COMPATIBILITY MATCHING SYSTEM® WAS DEVELOPED ON THE BASIS OF RESEARCH LIMITED TO MARRIED HETEROSEXUAL COUPLES, AND THAT THE COMPANY HAS NOT CONDUCTED SIMILAR RESEARCH ON SAME-SEX RELATIONSHIPS. THE COMPANY PROVIDES THE SERVICE ON AN "AS IS" AND "AS AVAILABLE" BASIS AND GRANTS NO WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, WHETHER EXPRESS, IMPLIED, STATUTORY OR OTHERWISE REGARDING THE EFFICACY OF THE COMPATIBILITY MATCHING SYSTEM® FOR SAME-SEX MATCHING.

Maybe they're right. I just wasted an hour filling out their survey and, well, I know it's new and all, but the results weren't all that great. (Update on that after the jump.)

Even though I'm not at all searching for someone special, and if I were I'd be far more likely to find myself in one of the seedier spots in Paris than on eHarmony, I filled out the questionnaire and got two results. and I had a good laugh (I'm sure the boys were nice people, but it wasn't about them). I don't plan on pursuing them, since they live really, really far away.

Anyway, they're giving out free memberships to the first several thousand queers who sign up, so rush over there to get one if this is your thing. I don't judge, but just know that if you happen upon a boy who listed "cheese" as his second highest priority (you'd better believe it), he's spoken for but can't figure out how to delete his account.

Update (12:34 PM): Well, that didn't take long. I just got kicked off!

Dear Customer,

Based on recent review of your account information and activity, Compatible Partners has made the decision to close your account. We do not disclose the specific reason for our decision, however, for your consideration we can provide some general information regarding such closure decisions.

The most common reason we may choose to close an account is for a violation of our Terms and Conditions regarding the misrepresentation of personal information, such as name, age, address, marital status or criminal history. On rare occasions, we also may close an account due to specific complaints about the content of a profile, communication, or for any other reason as stated in our Terms and Conditions.

If you have purchased a subscription and we have confirmed that a Terms and Conditions violation has occurred, your subscription dues may have been forfeited.

For any questions related to this action, you may visit our Frequently Asked Questions section concerning the closure of user accounts. You can find this information at the following link:
http://help.compatiblepartners.net/cgi-bin/eharmony_singles.cfg/php/enduser/guided_adp.php?p_faqid=1141

Sincerely,
Risk Management
Compatible Partners

Well, I never! What's a queer gotta do to get in on the eHarmony scheme?

They list their most common reasons for dismissal:

The most common reason for account closure is an apparent or alleged violation of eHarmony's Terms and Conditions. Such violations include, but are not limited to:

Misrepresentation of personal information such as name, criminal history, identity, address, age, or marital status;

Behavior that violates our Terms and Conditions such as soliciting funds from matches, verbal or physical abuse, or infringing on a match's privacy.

An outstanding balance on your account due to returned payment received from your card issuer.

All my info was accurate, I didn't violate TOS, and I didn't need a credit card because it's free right now.

Oh, well. I didn't even want an account there anyway. You hear me eHarmony? I didn't want in on your stupid dating service anyway! I don't need your help - I'll do just fine on my own!


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So - here's my thing with Compatible Partners. If we know that the people who are profiting off of this website were anti-LGBTQ, conservative, homophobic creeps, who were essentially forced via lawsuit to offer this website, why should we be spending our money to utilize their services? I know that there's a 6-month free membership deal right now, but after that is over, why should we pony up and give this company our hard-earned queer dollars?

I'm looking for love just as much as the next queer single gal, but I do not want to ever patronize Compatible Partners.

A. J. Lopp | April 2, 2009 4:28 PM

I expect it was no coincidence that Compatible Partners was launched on April 1st. What a joke, and only an April Fool would pay money to these jerks ...

Clearly a case of "lookin' for love in all the wrong place"...

I think a far better reason not to pay eHarmony is because they kicked me out!

Remember Alex Blaze!

Robert Ganshorn Robert Ganshorn | April 2, 2009 6:22 PM

I thought you liked cheese...or is it that "criminal history" thing? :)

A. J. Lopp | April 3, 2009 11:30 AM

All the more reason to believe they are totally incompetent ... They kicked out Alex! ... Probably the most desirable and available gay bachelor in their entire database ... I'll bet none of them can speak French! ... who in their right mind would kick out Alex!

Lynn David Lynn David | April 3, 2009 8:10 AM

Just for the hell of it I went to eHarmony about two years ago now and went through their sign-up questionaire just to see where I stood. They told me I was part of the 20% that their 'profiles' couldn't handle - or something like that. So I got to thinking.... 20%.... seems like there would be a market there. But then for the hell of it I tried CP yesterday, and they rejected me also....

Are they just kicking off all the gay men? Do they think they can run their site with only lesbians (well, the prolly could)?

You and me, Lynn, we're the two most eligible bachelors that put the G in LGBT. If they don't want us, they can just let their little venture fail.

A. J. Lopp | April 3, 2009 11:37 AM

But they don't want it to succeed! ... Then when they shut it down, they can tell the court that it was not due to discrimination, but that it was entirely a business decision ... it just wasn't making any money!

Let's see ...

(You are gay) +
(All gays are unacceptable) +
(We can't find anyone acceptable) =
No business!

Man, and to think they probably paid some lawyer $thousands to think up this crap!

Lynn David Lynn David | April 3, 2009 9:31 PM

LOL! I wish that were true but my eligibility isn't exactly in your league or possibly even the same planet....

Joel Slackman | October 23, 2009 10:41 AM

The algorithm they use to match men is pathetic. An “urban snob” whose passions include the arts, good food and wine, sculling, etc., I have been matched with good ole boys from small towns who claim “trucks” as their main passion or “bingo and sports” as their main leisure activities. Don’t waste your money; I can’t imagine they’re happy either getting matched with an esthete easterner like me.