Sara Whitman

Telling the Stories

Filed By Sara Whitman | April 16, 2009 4:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Living
Tags: lesbian, LGBT, moms, parents, suburbia

I took my dog for a walk today. It's been a long week and I wanted some fresh air, some quiet time.

There were packs of suburban moms. They seem to run in packs out there.

I usually go out later in the day but today I was there by 8:30am. I don't think I'll do that again. Wave after wave of moms in their jogging suits, some with coffee in hand, walking their pure bred dogs.

I felt out of place. Me, in my jeans and John Deere hat, with my mutt.

Pure bred mutt. All mutt.

It's not new, mind you. I always feel out of place in packs of suburban moms. At the elementary school, I have been around long enough to meet most of the parents and I have a comfort level there.

Today, though, I was trudging along thinking about teasing, taunting and bullying. What I could do to make a difference. How do I keep talking to my kids about it without them feeling like I'm obsessed.

I am obsessed.

I realize, after a conversation last night, that my kids face not only teasing about themselves, but about having a mom that "looks like a dad." Why, they are asked, does your mom look like a man?

Hey, Jake, your dad is here.

It happens a lot. I don't tend to notice it much anymore because I always get called sir.

Do any of these moms, briskly walking by, have to deal with this?

All kids get teased at some point. There is no question about that. Why does it feel like it has escalated? Is it that cell phones and facebook pages are now being used to taunt? Is it that they are inundated with media images that promote comparison and competition?

How can we make it better?

What happened to a country proud of its individualism? Or is that just one more lie perpetrated by the media.

I turned up a hill to a more remote part of the woods. As always in my life, the woods bring me a sense of calm. Safety.

Sirdeaner Walker is going to speak tomorrow at Springfield College, at the breaking of silence there. I am in awe of this woman's strength and in the quiet, I knew the answer.

We have to keep telling the stories. Over and over again. That's all I know how to do, and I realize that is the most powerful thing to do.


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Chitown Kev | April 16, 2009 5:41 PM

Sara,

Thank you. Keep up the fantastic work you are doing on this story and this topic.

Hey, i celebrate you for exactly who you are and what you look like. That is the solution. Tell more stories.

Robert Ganshorn Robert Ganshorn | April 17, 2009 3:56 AM

Oh, those visions, I am reminded of why I left the land of the "Stepford Women."

No one really likes a "rugged individualist" but a team player. The Chinese speak of the tallest staff of wheat is the first to be cut. I had to learn how not to be cut just as you have.

We who are pure bred mutts have to stick together.

uh oh, I'm pretty tall. guess I'm doomed!

About three weeks ago one of my little guitarists came in and was visibly upset. He just turned 13. I asked him what was wrong and he melted down on the spot because a kid was calling him gay at school. He quit scouts because of this kid doing it there and the leadership not doing anything about it.
His older brother saw him wearing makeup and said it to him once too, but the mother listened to me and put and end to that.
I wonder what would happen to him if he didn't have someone to talk to or even what may happen top him though he does have someone.