Thanks padre. Your comments are both insightful and delightful. Although my wife partner and I tend to sulk and pout more than argue; your guidelines strike me as practical and productive. I'm grateful for your advice, and hope we can enjoy a relationship as fruitful as yours.

Venomous? YOU? Please elaborate on why we should trust you on the new archbishop. The first thing he said was marriage was under attack and he was not even installed yet. Is that the bite of a garden snake FT? I promise never to be involved with anyone that cannot pour coffee. Nice Tshirt by the way. May we now hear your partners response to all this. lol I thought your video was excellent and very caring. Is it possible to go from a snake to a snake charmer?

should you really talk to customer service people like that either? no.

I concur.

I have a comment about couples who don't argue. I think it is a matter of definition in most cases. It's not that there isn't disagreement. There is. But these couples have more quiet conversations in which they follow the basic rules of arguing as you present them here. It may not sound like an argument because it isn't loud. The impassioned aspect of typical arguments may be missing, especially in people with mellow dispositions. Is it still an argument? Or is the typical (fair) argument really just a loud discussion?

I am curious about the follow-up. What happened with the guys who wrote to you a couple of months ago? Did they take your sage advice? Did it help? Where will Moonchild and DeVane be in their relationship in a couple of months?

There's an additional "arguing" thing I can add to this.

If you're arguing ALL the time, I'm betting many of the topics over which you're arguing are NOT the real reasons at all.

IMO, there are often deeper issues at play which are difficult to talk about. Things like "I'm unhappy with how are relationship is going". Or, "I think he doesn't love me anymore and won't tell me". Or even, "Why haven't we had sex in months?"

And because these topics can be (for some, like me) difficult to approach, it's far easier to argue over what to cook for dinner or some random issue over which two friends would never get heated.

I definitely felt that in my past. And it's upsetting because with all that energy spent arguing about the toothpaste cap, in the back of your mind you know the real things that make you sad are simply not being addressed.

So, I suppose the answer there is to go for the heart of it - argue, or discuss, the real issues (once you figure them out).

Anyways, my 2 cents.

hi, l try to read your comments every week as well as your personal blog. But. I live very isolated in France and l can't recieve You tube or vids. Can you please put down a written comment too ?
Thanks, Joe H