- I was a straight, married, middle-class, jocky white guy.
- I had a 38 inch chest thanks to my pecs and took significant pride knowing that I could bench press over 300 pounds.
- I had never knowingly experienced discrimination.
- I rarely had to contend with a social consciousness because I lived in a comfortable little world where my family lived in the same house as I did.
- I hadn't cried in 30 years and built walls to keep people at a distance.
- My favorite drink was a Tequila Sunrise but nobody dared snicker about it.
- I took a significant amount of my self-identity from my career.
- I shaved my face every morning, and rarely used conditioner.
- I had so much stuff to carry I could barely fit it all in my wallet.
- I thought I was happy, and had resigned myself to staying in the closet for the rest of my life.
I guess a lot has changed. Nowadays...
- I'm a happy, deeply in love, partnered lesbian, transsexual woman.
- I have a 38D chest thanks to my girls and feel no shame in admitting I wouldn't bench over 100 pounds even if I could.
- I have seen more than enough ignorance and discrimination to last a lifetime.
- My social consciousness is alive and well, has become a driving force in my life, and my family is a community of communities that spans countries and cultures.
- I cry when I'm sad, and the friendships in my life are deeper and more fulfilling than I could have ever imagined.
- My favorite drink is a Cosmo and, if you know me, it just fits.
- I have outgrown my career so I'm glad it doesn't define me anymore.
- I use conditioner every morning and never shave - 200 hours of electrolysis have done their work.
- I have so much stuff to carry I can barely fit it all in my purse.
- I'm happier and more fulfilled than I've ever been, and would rather die than go back to the closet.
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18 Comments
What a great post! AND a beautiful lady!
Ralph | May 7, 2009 6:56 PM
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And the hair transplants have paid off as well. I had never noticed what fabulous hair you have.
Hot as a woman, incredibly hot when you were a man.
And I agree with you in that most straight male friendships are so emotionally superficial. Mostly friendships in order to use social connections for parties/work, rather than any sort of emotional interaction. That, or ego-sharpening sessions with the constant jabs at each other.
Lucrece | May 7, 2009 7:34 PM
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I think you are amazing and an evolutionary leap for mankind. You are an example of the Quan Yin in Buddhism. Male and Female in one being. I love you for the courage it took to be you.
Charles Merrill | May 7, 2009 7:43 PM
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thanks for this, put a smile on my face.
[dave] | May 7, 2009 7:55 PM
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His eyes are bloodshot. I think he cried more than he wanted to admit. It is a good thing that he doesn't have to anymore.
null | May 7, 2009 7:59 PM
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Great post.
Rob Barton | May 7, 2009 9:13 PM
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Terrific post! Thank you for sharing!
John Raymond Barker | May 7, 2009 9:46 PM
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Donna, thank you very much for sharing your life with us. Your inner and outer beauty takes my breath away. I wish you and the love of your life every happiness. Much love, Mark
????? ?????? | May 7, 2009 10:04 PM
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Thank you so much for telling your story.
You know, if these stories were fleshed out, I think there's a book in it.
Betty Greene Salwak | May 7, 2009 10:13 PM
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Really, just an amazing post. Thank you for sharing something so intimate... I'm guessing it took some guts.
Sam Ritchie | May 7, 2009 11:04 PM
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While others keep saying that Donna was hot before, I think there's no question that she is the most beautiful as she is right now - and that's because she's being true to herself.
I'm really loving this little series Nathan started of "Now and Then" posts. They put the old "Better Know a Contributor" posts to shame.
Thank you, Donna, for participating. I know how much courage it took for you to do this.
Bil Browning | May 8, 2009 10:37 AM
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What are you trying to say in number 2? You wouldn't bench over 100 pounds even if you could? Why not? Is there something wrong with being a strong woman, or do you equate women with weakness?
Kerrie | May 8, 2009 10:55 AM
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I wouldn't say that women are weak but when a guy works out to press 300 plus pounds then he is doing it to show how much of a man he really is. Anyway that is why I did it. I feel the same. I started in a gym and started lifting some weights just to tone myself up and this is what the trainer wanted me to do. I started building more muscle, I had been post op for over a year at the time and was on a lot of estrogen. I didn't want the muscle my arms were too big as it was. So now I do cardio. I see strong women all the time, some are even stronger, a lot, than me. Physically. I assume that is what you were talking about.
Sheila | May 8, 2009 3:00 PM
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You are just one of the reasons why I love my transgender friends so much. It's a brave thing and an important thing to be who you are. And there is much that people who are and have been both man and woman can teach us all.
And especially that you ARE teaching something by sharing your experience.
Yeah...and you're beautiful. Period.
Regan DuCasse | May 8, 2009 4:50 PM
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I am happy to hear you are fullfilled.
ewe | May 9, 2009 2:50 AM
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i hated every moment of my life before, and never want to look back.
You are more open with your former life than i could ever bring myself to be. i wonder why viewing the past can be seen so differently for some people.
Anonymous-T-Girl | May 9, 2009 1:48 PM
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Lovely and intimate story. Thank you, Donna, for sharing this with us. You are a beautiful woman, both on the inside and on the outside.
Firebolt | May 13, 2009 3:55 AM
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You're an inspiration to all of us budding trans-lesbian activists out here. Keep on rockin'!
brendaL | June 6, 2009 10:51 PM
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