I would give you a big kiss and hearty hug if you opened the door with a rainbow shirt and little doggie in your arms. So there!!!!!
I had Jehovas stopping by when i lived in Florida and just told them i have a religion and have no intention of changing it, Bye.
As far as the hypocrisy of staying private goes? Way too difficult. Simply turn on the television or open a magazine and the flagrant, blatant, unabashed and debasing dipictions of open heterosexuality in all its crass forms is there to greet you every day, all day 24/7 365. I did once tell two young women that they were so pretty to be so dismal and gloomy with their talk about apocalypse and god taking up only 900 people in the end of days. It's boring sunday theater. Not interested. SLAM!!!!!!!!!!! And dust your feet off afterward, keep moving forward. That was actually a curse Jesus himself used quite a bit.

and i will gaze unremarkably outward with one side of my mouth curled like i prefer more valium than saving souls.

Heh. I'll have to try the "I don't care what you do in private, as long as you don't flaunt your religion in front of me" line the next time I run into some fundie acting all concerned over where my "soul" will go after I die.

The easiest way to solve this problem?

Trap doors.

uhhh... he forgot to leave the educational materials.. The Joy of Gay Sex

While we're all laughing at what happened, we need to pause a sec and realize that these "religious" zealots (I simply call them morons, but I digress) do make inroads......and that is truly very sad. The religious "right" is anything but; however, they now say there is nothing wrong with standing up, especially to us, for what they "believe". We need to stand fast and give it back, point for point......Rick(my Partner) and I have one thing to say to the righteous "Jesus freaks" - we know our Jesus never did - and doesn't - hate.

Way to go, Waymon - I think I would have definitely said something........and it wouldn't have been very nice.

All The Best....

John

Do you know why Jehovah's Witness women have depressed nipples?
Pointing with two fingers, "Get off my porch!"
Even though I'm a minister, I still have the urge to be a smart ass. In high school I was singled out by a group of enthusiastic bible-thumpers. They began, "When were you saved?" My response, "From the beginning of time."
Undaunted they asked, "Have you found Jesus?" To which I smirked, "I didn't know he was lost!"
They finally let me alone.

Both my Partner John and myself were raised in religious families. We were taught that the Old Testament is simply to be seen as literature and our faith was based on the New Testament. There is nothing anti Gay in the New Testament.We were taught that we should always ask ourselves the question what would Jesus do? Sadly in my opinion many religions have loss their focus and been hijacked by the religious right. That being said what right do they have to get in our face so to speak.

Typically, the demographic for Jehovah's Witnesses skews toward less educated, lower income people, and includes large numbers of racial/ethnic minorities. I've always suspected that part of the appeal in witnessing is the opportunity to show up dressed better than most people who stumble to the door unkempt--a sin of pride, at the least.

***DING DONG**
I Answer the door.

Bible lady::: "Hello we are here to spread gods word. Are you familiar w/bible verse blah blah blah?"

Me::: "Oh - yes! I am actually thank you. But you see, I'm a Lesbian and you don't want me in your church."

Bible lady::: "Oh."

***extremely uncomfortable long pause***

Me::: **still smiling**

Bible lady::: "Well we believe it's a 'choice'."

Me::: "Yes. I understand. I choose to continue being a lesbian. Be careful when you go down the drive way. It's extremely icey and I don't want you to get hurt."

Bible lady::: "Oh."

Me::: "Thank you. Have a nice day."

My children, who I refer to as the Philistines, thought I was to hard on her and expected to see goats blood on the door after a few days.

Open the door and say, "Excuse me, but I was just about to make a blood sacrifice to Satan when you knocked, but can I help you?"

Love the column. lol Years ago I was sitting on a porch with a group of friends and two young Mormons came to talk to us. The owner of the house asked them quickly what the church's stance on gays and lesbians was. They stumbled a bit, looking each of us in the face as we smiled pleasantly back at them. I could see it slowly dawning on them that they had discovered a nest of lesbians in their assigned neighborhood. Everyone was very polite and they went on their way. I felt sort of bad for them. :(