Sara Whitman

I'm Here

Filed By Sara Whitman | May 13, 2009 9:30 AM | comments

Filed in: Living, Marriage Equality
Tags: I'm here, Maine, solo vacation, The Floating Brothel

I'm here. Finally.

Maine_woods.jpgI thought I was coming into major fog season but in fact, the sun is out, the sky almost clear, and it feels like it might get to a rockin' 60 degrees today.

I won't mention how cold it was last night.

I have so many books to choose from up here it's hard to know where to start... my first choice might be The Floating Brothel. Kinda matches the sounds of the lobster boats on the water.

I am struck by how quiet it is here.

A friend of mine said, it will take a few days to get over the need to be busy, the loneliness. I don't really feel much of a need to be busy, although the place does need a good cleaning, the kerosene lamps all need tending to, wick cut and filled with new oil.

Tomorrow.

The furniture all needs to be set up but that's Allan's job. The compost toilet needs emptying too, but that's Walter's job. I think I'll save both for them.

The shore is littered with bleach bottles from the lobster boats. I will pick those up. The tide is already coming in so no mussels for dinner tonight.

Charlie Crist, (R-Closet as my friend Steven says) is considering a run for senate, even though he was outed in the recent movie, Outrage. Obama made a great wink wink joke at the White House correspondents dinner the other night- he is without a doubt for marriage equality. I hope he stands up and says it clearly soon. The world of politics, the economy spinning, is all merrily going on it's way.

And I can hear the sea gulls, the wind and water. Nothing else.

I'm here. Mostly, but not all of me yet. As I went to bed last night, the silence shook me a little. There is still that edge of fear tapping me on the shoulder, telling me perhaps the ax murderer isn't worried about mud season and is on his way.

I know this is the safest place on earth for me. The woods have always been my haven, where no one could reach me tucked under an arch of fallen tree limbs of my youth. The fear keeps me from being present.

This is a moment I've waited for, like so many others in my life. I won't let fear win.

It is far to special a moment.


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Beautiful post. I can almost feel the stillness.

I really wish I could share the beauty of Maine with you sometime. It always sounds so lovely when you describe it like this.