Guest Blogger

Rory: Then and Now

Filed By Guest Blogger | May 30, 2009 2:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Living, Transgender & Intersex
Tags: before and after, before and after pictures, now and then, rory gould, then and now, trans, transgender

EThumbnail image for rory_after.jpgditors' Note: Projector Rory Gould sent in this Then & Now. If you'd like to participate too, send in your before and after photos and lists.

THEN: (1986)

  1. I was a dyke. It was very much a part of my identity. I lived and breathed the gay and lesbian community.
  2. I was single. All of my living and breathing had to do with politics and activism. I had no time for... well, me. This included finishing my degree or making any money.
  3. I was a pretty big macher in the Democratic Party, accumulating contacts and titles.
  4. I lived on the east coast, and went through the loss of both my mother and my father to cancer.
  5. I rejected the notion that I might be trans, in spite of meeting and knowing Leslie Feinberg, Jason Cromwell, and Kate Bornstein. I wasn't like them. They were like me. (We are each the center of our own personal universe.)
  6. I was alone, and I could see the fork in the road coming towards me. (I wasn't going towards it)

rory_now.jpgNOW:

  1. I am FTM. And suddenly, at age 40, I was straight. Did I have a community?
  2. I am partnered. August 9th is our 11th anniversary. Amazingly, after only three months of being out as trans, I was in this relationship. As a friend told me when I came out to her, "you never were really successful at being a dyke".
  3. I have no involvement with the Democratic Party whatsoever, other than faithfully giving them my vote. Been there; done that, since 1968. I've done my bit, several times over. The people who I used to know have undoubtedly long since forgotten me, as they continued even farther up the political food chain and became nationally known.
  4. I live on the west coast, which would have been inconceivable to me in my earlier life. And I live in a house for the first time ever, in a rural county. I used to be one of those people who made jokes about needing a passport to go across the Hudson River.
  5. I have embraced my trans status, and run a gender support and educational organization which holds eight support meetings a month. Saying that we are each the center of our own personal universe is one of the bromides that anyone who attends these meetings will likely hear from me; more than once.
  6. I have a family. Through my partner, I have step-kids, grandkids, and in-laws. My brother has a wife and three children and in-laws who all accept my partner (who is MTF) and me. It's been more than 21 years since my mother died, and while that's a tragedy, I am really glad that I never had to come out to her as trans. As Yogi said, I came to the fork, and I took it.
  7. I have the rep. of fearing change, which is true. But it is also true that I moved 3,000 miles to a new city without knowing anyone there, transitioned from female to male, and live in a place where they don't even deliver pizza. And I've never doubled back to the fork.

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congratultions. You sound like you have a lot of happiness in your life now.

congrats Rory. Im in the very beginning stages of my transition and love seeing other people's then and now stories! Thanks.

Thanks Jess and ewe. I'm glad someone read the story. And good luck with the rest of your transition, Jess.