Guest Blogger

Finding the Humor in Life

Filed By Guest Blogger | August 19, 2009 10:00 AM | comments

Filed in: Fundie Watch, Marriage Equality
Tags: humorous blog post, transgender

Editor's Note: Today's Guest Contributor is the Reverend Donna Tara Lee, a Gainesville Florida out and proud M2F transgender activist.

donna tara lee.jpg

I, for one, am getting quite over all the doom and gloom stories and posts about being transgender.

Before I go any farther, let me state I was quite depressed and at times contemplated suicide up till I transitioned in February, 2001. While life has its ups and downs, I must say that life today as a woman is just plain joyous.

I had no family or friends' acceptance either. At the age of 51, I made a whole new life for myself and I don't regret it at all. And many things have happened along the way that were quite humorous.

Name Change Laughs

One of the first funny things that happened on the way to surgery was when I went to change my name on my social security card.

The faceless bureaucrat must not even have checked the names as she said to me, "Oh, is this due to marriage?" I deadpanned back to her my answer, " No, surgery."

She looked up, scanned the names and almost fainted. I just burst out laughing.

You Get What You Pay For

I went to Thailand for my surgery and the experience as a whole was great, as was the surgery. As the packing was being pulled out of me I remember my then partner who went with me looking down at me saying, "You bitch! Yours is better than mine "

I answered back that mine cost over $5,000 while hers was free- so of course mine was better.

At that very moment, the doctor brushed his hand against my still-oh-so-sensitive clitoris and I just gasped and moaned. He looked down at me as I was laying there panting away with a look that said with a slight nod of his head, "See, I do good work." I realized I had just had my first orgasm as a woman and, oh baby, I couldn't wait to have more. What a jolt!

Two weeks later, I went for my last physical before I left to come back home. Well there I am, feet up in the stirrups, being checked out and the Thai nurse in broken English looked down at me and said, "you very beautiful down there."

All I could do was look up and smile and say "thank you", trying not to crack up over what she had said.

Can I Get Some Refunds?

Getting back home, I finished my recovery and went about life as a woman. I then had my first dating experience as a woman. When the check came for dinner I asked how much is my part and my date said "No my dear, I pay for you."

Well, my mind just started doing some quick math as I tried to figure out how long it would take for me to get back all the money I had spent dating as a man. Never did figure that one out, but I tried for awhile. I was determined to get my money back.

Later this gentleman and I ended up doing the sex thing. That was hilarious.

As he and I made love and he was telling me how great I was and etc., etc., I remember thinking to myself, "You F****** idiot. If you only knew."

It was real hard for me to keep a straight face and he took my smiles and occasional giggling as me enjoying it. Actually I didn't. I discovered that I really still enjoyed the company of women. I never did get my money back, but I certainly had fun trying.

The Old Bathroom Scare Tactic

Just recently here in Gainesville, we had the Charter Amendment fight which I definitely participated in.

I enjoyed going to city commission meetings and introducing myself as Donna Lee, Transgendered Activist and seeing who rolled their eyes to the ceiling. My favorite moment though was when the opposition was talking about men being in the ladies room posing as transgenders when they were intent on molesting a woman or girl.

You know, the old scare tactic.

When I talked, I stated simply that "I had been in bathrooms as a member of both sexes and let me tell you all I wanted to do at the time was to pee." Nobody on the other side had an answer for that one, and they lost pretty big at the polls also. Guess I had a good answer.

Finding Your Own Happiness

I love my life as a woman.

It's not what I thought it would be. It's so much better than anything I could ever imagine.

I urge all T's to live your new life with enjoyment and a zest for living. After all, we transitioned to live life as we truly are and in doing so it can be a blast.

All you need is a slightly warped sense of humor.


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coachsappho | August 19, 2009 12:03 PM

Donna, I just love this article. Just when I thought I knew who you were...no, but really, the article not only helps me get to know you more, it also confirms again what an amazing woman you are.

Speaking of humor, remember how you explained (or tried to) your surgery to several of us at that Ocala GLBT picnic a couple of years ago, right in the middle of us eating? HA! That was hysterical.

Lastly, as a mental health professional I just want to remark about the suicide thing. If you are out there reading this and you are feeling stuck or depressed because you haven't yet made the journey to where Donna is now, just know you aren't alone. In fact, the worst thing you can do is continue to try and do this on your own.

Be sure to reach out - learn how to deal with your shame. Donna's story should give you hope. But be sure to reach out for help where you will be supported. Donna, where can folks with gender identity concerns turn for help with their emotional concerns?

You stand as a leader in the transgender community because you are so willing to tell it like it is and give of yourself. We are so lucky to have you!

cecilia brown | August 21, 2009 6:24 AM

Donna,
I loved the stories. Of course your sense of humor makes it a good read. Thanks for sharing.