Sara Whitman

Vacation Check in: Yes, I Belong in the Ladies Locker Room

Filed By Sara Whitman | August 01, 2009 12:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Living
Tags: locker rooms, picnics, vacation

I thought I'd check in... I've been relaxing so much out here, I'm mush right now. Perfect level of mush. Jeanine and I are sitting on our own little private porch and she is reading me a fish oil supplement advertisement and she's laughing hysterically.

Family fun for everyone! Don't leave baby out!

It has never occurred to me to take fish oil capsules. I stick to that radical idea of eating fish. You know, pick up the fork, chew, swallow. I don't care what Mary Poppins said, cod liver oil is nasty.

Which reminds me of some of the fabulous food we've had out here. The first night, we had delicious scallops, with artichoke hearts and summer truffle.

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Mmmmmmm. Don't ask me what the foamy stuff was- I think the chef is stuck in the late 1990's.

Another dish we had while here was rabbit in many different little pieces. Oh, don't be sending PETA on me, I can't help it, I like rabbit.

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Can we all sing, "Little rabbit foo foo, hoppin' thru the forest, scooping up the field mice and boppin' them on the head."

With the fresh lima beans, and the au jus, it was spectacular.

I went with the wife to Tanglewood. I have been dragging my heels for ... um... 15 years. It's so close, we could walk with our little picnic basket. Of course, as we walked in the entrance the State Trooper there said, "You ladies be careful when you leave... two rows of cars coming out of here, and nary a one looking for a person on the side of the road."

And then we chatted about the bad rain out here and how the roads have been. He was a nice guy.

We had our little picnic on the grass.

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I wish I had brought my real camera with me because there were some amazing food set ups on the lawn. Candles, tables, clothes, silver... it's a small competition among some to have the most elegant lawn meal there is.

We had a great time, left before the bugs were too bad. Jeanine is satisfied that she has been to Tanglewood--I don't have to go again for another 15 years.

Ok, ten.

We've sat by the pool. Read books. Enjoyed he sunset. Went to see the O'Keeffe exhibit at the Clark. It was billed "O'Keeffe" but it was really Arthur Dove and O'Keeffe and mostly Arthur Dove. He may have been her inspiration but once again, all I can say is women do it better. Her work was stunning. His... fine. The droves of people were there to see Georgia's work, though.

I went to have a massage today. One of my favorite things to do on vacation. I went over to the Cranwell, as where I am staying does not have a spa, and had a wonderful treatment. As I was leaving, I stepped out of the bathroom, in the locker room, and had an older woman say to me, "I believe this is the ladies lounge," clutching her robe to her chin.

I was clearly, in her mind, in the wrong place.

Now, please understand, I go through this every day, all the time. I get called sir, I get the look up and down when I go to the restroom. But having just stood completely naked in that very room not five minutes before, to have this woman push her gender stereotypes down my throat after having such a nice massage... I kind of lost my patience.

I lifted my shirt, showing her my lovely lacy black bra (cup size D thank you very much) and said, "Yes it is."

And walked out.

From now on? That is going to be my response to the evil eye, or the raised eyebrow. I'm lifting up my shirt. Period.

Tonight is our last night. We have dinner reservations. The only disappointment was the golf course we wanted to play on was closed due to way too much water from all the rain. Yes, I am that stereotypical of a lesbian that I play golf. Softball, too.

Oh. The rain. That reminds me... my boys are out here, at camp, in rain, rain, rain. With no lovely scallops and summer truffles to get them through.

I'll be sure to send a care package of Deep Woods Off. But first... a lovely glass of wine...


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Marja Erwin | August 1, 2009 12:14 PM

I don't want to derail the discussion, but I'm shocked by the destruction of the world's fisheries. I stopped eating any seafood. If it is beneficial to our health, that's one more reason to let the fisheries recover, instead of driving them towards extinction, so that it can benefit future generations' health.

I like your boob-flash approach to asserting your gender identity :)

A. J. Lopp | August 1, 2009 4:16 PM

Yes, Sara! ... boob-flashing has a long historical tradition ... If Sojourner Truth could use that response, then so can you!

A. J. Lopp | August 2, 2009 2:08 PM

P.S. There is probably in interesting cinematic history to boob-flashing also --- not the "Girls Gone Wild" type of flashing, but flashing as proof of womanhood. For one, Barbra Streisand used it in her movie Yentl.

P.P.S. Notably, no examples come to mind, cinematic or IRL, of the converse --- a female-presenting man flashing his wiener to prove he's a man (such tactic in the wrong situation could put said wiener in grave danger of amputation).

P.P.P.S. ... No, just kidding.

"From now on? That is going to be my response to the evil eye, or the raised eyebrow. I'm lifting up my shirt. Period."

hahahahahahha, nice

You moon them, Sara! Should've tit-slapped her silly too~

Non-verbal communication is almost ALWAYS the best tactic, esp. for visual learners.

Perfect response, Sara.

On the fish oil topic...

Fish oil pills are often used as a homeopathic cure for folks with depression or bipolar disorder. They don't taste bad (they have no taste), and the essential oils work with the brain to even things out. I use them for that along side my "real" medication; they've really added to it. With the meds alone, I'd still have occasional flip outs. With the addition of the fish oil pills, that's pretty much stopped.

A. J. Lopp | August 2, 2009 2:29 PM

Yes, fish oil supplements are not a hoax --- the active components support both the immune system and the nervous system, and for certain people they can deliver noticeable benefits.

Bil, fish oil pills (at least the ones that I am familiar with) have no taste only because they are gelatin capsules and the fish oil is inside --- if you bite one in half, the oil inside tastes just like raw fish. But you might be taking pills that are different.

The desired components in the fish oil are linolenic acid, an omega-3 fatty acid, and linoleic acid, an omega-6 fatty acids.

Obviously, fish oil is an animal product. Sometimes vegans want a vegetarian source of omega-3 and omega-6, and they might check out OptOmega from Usana Health Sciences. (I'm not trying to be a bore, hopefully someone might actually find this info useful.)