The breaking news that Levi Johnston will be posing nude for Playgirl
is perhaps the greatest piece of information that I have ever received in the history of me being alive. (Rumors abounded before, but now it's [almost] confirmed.) Seriously, I have tears of joy in my eyes just thinking about it.
(FYI: Levi Johnston, of course, is Sarah Palin's daughter's baby daddy, and I have an unhealthy obsession with him.)
I've been sitting on a ton of Levi Johnston speculation, but decided not to blog about it because all of it just seemed too fantastical to ever become a reality and I didn't want to end up sorely disappointed - Unzipped, a gay porn magazine, offered him money to see his bare man-spear, and StraightCollegeMen.com offered him $25,000 to masturbate on camera. As if to cocktease his fans out of every single drop of pre-ejaculate that they had in them, Johnston said that he would take off all of his clothes if the price was right: "It depends on the money, man. It's gotta be right for that."
Well, I guess the money that Playgirl offered was right because he's going to do it. The formal contract has not yet been signed, but Johnston's attorney claims that the nude photo shoot is "foregone conclusion."
HOWEVER - and this is a big HOWEVER - "nude" can mean a number of things when it comes to a magazine like Playgirl. He could very well elect just to show his bare ass and be done with it. No gay publication or video site would let him get away with such prudishness, I tell you.
So, upon reflection, I'm thinking that I'm jumping the gun here. Perhaps its best to go back to my nightly prayers for Levi Johnston to appear before me in all his full-frontal glory. I heard that collective prayer is stronger than individual prayer. Will you help me? PLEASE?!
[Crossposted on Bamboo Nation.]
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7 Comments
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I don't do prayer much anymore, but maybe I'll cast a little spell for us. And I may have some leftover Love Potion #9 that was made at 9:09am on 09-09-2009. It's got a kick...
I don't care much about Levi in particular, but I applaud anyone who helps break down our society's antiquated prudishness.
Let's see it all!
Christian | October 8, 2009 4:17 PM
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A very happy birthday to you indeed, apparently :-)
Michael | October 8, 2009 4:43 PM
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Prayers, spells, well-wishes--anything it takes! ANYTHING!
Prince Gomolvilas | October 8, 2009 4:53 PM
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Prince, to paraphrase Miss Ross, you don't want no cure and you know it.
I know I don't and I love that pic of that bad boy smirk on Levi's face.
Chitown Kev | October 8, 2009 7:08 PM
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Well, Prince G, I don't care all that much for Levi --- The only safe assumption I can sell myself on is that his fruit basket will prove to be as ordinary as his chest.
But I find it refreshing about how you come right out and admit your "unhealthy obsession" on Levi. Specifically, it is refreshing to discover that I'm not the only one who develops "unhealthy obsessions".
P.S. And this has absolutely nothing to do with my "unhealthy obsessions" but ... Prince G or anyone, be sure to email me if you find out that Micheal Steele has posed buck naked for Playgirl ... or Tavis Smiley.
[ * Parse that last sentence however it works best for you. * ]
A. J. Lopp | October 8, 2009 11:32 PM
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Kev, I'd like to slap that smirk right off his face. (I mean in a loving way.)
AJ, wow, I never thought of Steele or Smiley in the context of sex symbolism. Obsessions are fascinating!
Prince Gomolvilas | October 9, 2009 12:41 AM
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What can I say? I'm into black guys who could have been football players but didn't go that route.
BTW, I just noticed ... don't you think that Levi Johston looks like David Letterman could have been his father? With all the screwin' around that we now know that Dave's been doing, do you think? ...
Palin would have a cow!
A. J. Lopp | October 9, 2009 2:52 PM
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