The breaking news that Levi Johnston will be posing nude for Playgirl is perhaps the greatest piece of information that I have ever received in the history of me being alive. (Rumors abounded before, but now it's [almost] confirmed.) Seriously, I have tears of joy in my eyes just thinking about it.
(FYI: Levi Johnston, of course, is Sarah Palin's daughter's baby daddy, and I have an unhealthy obsession with him.)
I've been sitting on a ton of Levi Johnston speculation, but decided not to blog about it because all of it just seemed too fantastical to ever become a reality and I didn't want to end up sorely disappointed - Unzipped, a gay porn magazine, offered him money to see his bare man-spear, and StraightCollegeMen.com offered him $25,000 to masturbate on camera. As if to cocktease his fans out of every single drop of pre-ejaculate that they had in them, Johnston said that he would take off all of his clothes if the price was right: "It depends on the money, man. It's gotta be right for that."
Well, I guess the money that Playgirl offered was right because he's going to do it. The formal contract has not yet been signed, but Johnston's attorney claims that the nude photo shoot is "foregone conclusion."
HOWEVER - and this is a big HOWEVER - "nude" can mean a number of things when it comes to a magazine like Playgirl. He could very well elect just to show his bare ass and be done with it. No gay publication or video site would let him get away with such prudishness, I tell you.
So, upon reflection, I'm thinking that I'm jumping the gun here. Perhaps its best to go back to my nightly prayers for Levi Johnston to appear before me in all his full-frontal glory. I heard that collective prayer is stronger than individual prayer. Will you help me? PLEASE?!
[Crossposted on Bamboo Nation.]