Is this a joke? I mean -- seriously -- at first I thought it was April Fools, or something, but then I realized it's October, but maybe in Norway they have October Fools?

Let's review Obama's peacemaking record... Okay, expanding the war in Afghanistan, more drone attacks in Pakistan, continuing to support the Israeli war machine, engineering the Wall Street billionaires bail-out, rolling out the health care industry giveaway, supporting extension of the PATRIOT act, delaying the closure of Guantánamo -- what's next? Oh, a Nobel Peace Prize and $1.4 million -- that should push him in the right direction.

What about Blackwater founder Erik Prince -- wasn't he on the short list? I mean, he did just recently say, "I will be taking on new challenges that I have not yet had the chance to tackle." Just to make sure he doesn't kill any more employees, or engineer the mass murder of thousands, I really really wish the illustrious Nobel committee had given him the medallion -- it's a medallion, isn't it -- you do get a medallion, along with the $1.4 million, don't you? That prize pressure worked so well with Shimon Peres -- shalom aleichem.

What about the Blue Angels? I mean, they're flying over San Francisco this weekend, and everyone stops in the street to stare at "America's number one pasttime" -- nope, sorry darling, not baseball! You see, if they give the Nobel Peace Prize to the Blue Angels, then everyone will have more time to stare, and that means more time for peace, right? And, more time for Blue Angel Vodka. That's right -- how about a Blue Angel Martini -- BAM!!!

But can vodka win a Nobel Peace Prize, I mean has vodka ever one before? What about Sean Penn, for playing a gay... a gay... a gay... person. Dammit -- he already won an Oscar! Can you win an Oscar and a Nobel Peace Prize in the same year? And what about Brangelina, for saving all those kids? David Hasselhoff? Oh, I know -- Mary Cheney's second baby -- that'll be a winner, for sure!

Mattilda also blogs at nobodypasses.blogspot.com

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