I would tell him to handle it in whatever way he feels most comfortable, and then probably provide a 2500 word lecture on why being out is sooo much better than being in the closet or "not out".

I can't say there's much on my FB that says, point blank, I'm trans -- although I doubt most people would assume I'm not given my activities.

I have, of course, my dyssonance site -- and then I have another site (woefully ignored) that talks about everything *but* being trans. Indeed, it's ignored there, and on purpose.

And while dyss links to it, it does not link to dyss.

I haven't heard Madonna's new album, but odds are as a long time fan, I'd like it. I only disliked one of her albums thus far, and it was around the same time as her coffee table book, lol.

So odds are good I'd like it -- and I'm neither gay nor spelling color with a u...

Another example of someone younger needing to talk to someone older.

Being a gay male and out requires a certain amount of "balls" (don't mean to be sexist here) and those "awkward moments" when you are not guaranteed good responses are evidence of that. I've had awkward moments, some I handled well, some I didn't. But with time, you learn it's almost always best to be honest, and you can only allow the other person's response to bother you only so much. (I say "almost always": If you find yourself in a dark alley late at night with a gun pointed in your face, that might not be a good time to initiate a discussion about your sexuality with your assailant.)

And by the way, black people, latino people, women, and people who closely identify with any particular religion or ethnicity have "awkward moments" like that, too. No matter who you are, there is probably someone out there who disapproves or even hates you over something. So get over it --- and concentrate on increasing your capacity to be comfortable in your own skin whether others approve of you or not.

P.S. I'm not surprised --- "Dear Abby" wasn't that helpful when I wrote her her myself at about that age.

I find that when I assume it's not such a big deal letting people know I'm gay, they tend not to make a big deal about it either.

My response to him would be:

Think about putting something specific on your facebook page which lets people know. Don't rush into it, but when you're ready, consider a picture of you and your boyfriend, or a symbol, or a line about being happily out of the closet.

Be calm and low-key in responding. You're not obligated to explain yourself or spill intimate details. Figure out a couple of quick-and-easy responses that fit, like "Yeah, I didn't see this coming in high school, either, but I love my life now!" or, "Yeah, I pretty much knew a long time ago, but it took time to accept it," or, "My new life? It's the same as the old one, except for the cute boyfriend!"

It gets a little more complicated if old friends raise religious concerns, but again, stay calm. Walk away from folks who get belligerent or try to bully you.

Here's the good news: It will get easier, more natural for you. Coming out as a young adult, you are likely to connect within social, professional, and neighborhood circles where lgbt people are welcomed without batting an eye. The day may come when you won't even talk about being gay to folks from your past or present, you'll just mention your husband!

Her assumption that he was being deceitful by not coming out in high school pisses me off. More pre-teens and teens are recognizing their orientation than in decades prior, but not all. It's unfair and unwise to suggest that youth who don't come out early will suffer a loss of credibility when they do so later.