Terrance Heath

Conservative Rapper's Delight

Filed By Terrance Heath | November 29, 2009 5:30 PM | comments

Filed in: Entertainment, Marriage Equality, Politics
Tags: Christian beliefs, funny videos, rappers delight, side hug

I now extend my request for Levi Johnston to these guys.

The Christian side hug, for the unaware, is the Christian version of the standard "full frontal hug," which is a sinful abonimation and should be avoided until marriage (I am not actually making this up). The side-hug is preferable because it avoids crotch-touching, which Jesus hated. Apparently the standard hug is now mostly for Jews, Muslims, Socialists and probably Unitarians.

Also, did I hear that right? Do they say "You ain't no Rabbi, you ain't no Priest, so rise up off me like the [something] with no yeast"? And does that mean that if you were a Rabbi or Priest you could, uh, not rise up off me? I'm uncomfortable and confused.

I also remain unclear on why "Democratic shift in Congress!" is thrown in and why there's a shout-out to buying babies, but I haven't read my True Images Bible for Girls in a while so maybe I'm just forgetting that part of the New Testament.

And this guy.

Yet another right wing rapper has shown up on the scene at the tea parties. His name is Hi Caliber and he sucks as bad as all the previous ones.

"Patriotic people throw your hands in the air, and wave them around like you just don't care."

Seriously, is that the best he can do? I imagine it is.

Just stop. Please.

Unfortunately, ain't no rap like right-wing rap 'cause right-wing rap don't stop.

I'm gonna give 'em this much. I think the free market will take of this trend. Soon, I hope.


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Honestly, thought this was a parody at first. I'm saddened by the fact that it is not. o.o

OMG it would be funny were it not so tragic.

Fascinating that they talk about putting anyone who gives them a frontal hug 'in a coma'. A very odd definition of Christian love, I would have thought...

'When I hug people/I leave room for the Holy Spirit'? Further evidence that the cult these people belong to has nothing to do with the Gospels.

I saw that first video a couple of weeks ago and thought it was a parody in the beginning. Not only are they bad rappers, they're also about as smart as a brick apparently.

Christopher D | November 30, 2009 12:50 PM

This is why parody is dead.

Oh my, that's funny. Authoritarian rap. Is nothing holy?