Monica Roberts

Can A Transsistah Get Some Love This Holiday Season?

Filed By Monica Roberts | December 03, 2009 4:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Living, Transgender & Intersex
Tags: African-American, Christmas, Monica Roberts, Remembering Our Dead, transwomen

It's black santa.jpgthe start of the Christmas holiday season. From now until January 1 there will be nonstop Christmas music played on the radio airwaves and our favorite Christmas cartoons playing for a new generation of younglings.

We'll have Christmas trees and holiday decorations put up, and we'll endure a tidal wave of holiday themed television commercials seeking to sell us stuff.

Carolers will be out in force singing to old Christmas classics, and the seasonal cry for Peace on Earth and goodwill to your fellow humans will reign supreme.

But if I could sit on Santa's lap and get one Christmas wish granted for the holidays besides new shoes and having a supermodel's body, it would be this:

Can a transsistah get some love this holiday season?

TDOR collage.jpgFor one month, can me and my transsistahs not hear about another transsistah getting shot, stabbed, killed and added to the Remembering Our Dead List?

Can me and my transisstahs go through this holiday season without being verbally attacked by faith-based haters, the Catholic Church, conservative media or conservative Black megachurch preachers?

Can me and my transsistahs go through the holiday season without seeing transphobic comments on the Net every time a positive story highlighting a transperson gets posted?

Can me and my transsistahs go through the holiday season without seeing transphobic commentary from our so-called allies as well?

Can a transsistah go through the holiday season without hearing snide comments as we are out and about in public from the willfully ignorant, disapproving family members, or ciswomen wallowing in privilege and disrespectfully declaring that we'll never be 'real' women?

For the holiday season, can me and my transsistahs get our fellow African descended people to open their minds about transpeople, open their hearts and welcome us with open arms into the community instead of denigrating and disrespecting us?

For the holiday season, can you come to the realization that me and my transsistahs are part of the diverse mosaic of human life, and we have much to offer to our various communities?

For the holiday season, can me and my transsistahs just be allowed to live our lives without additional drama?

And if you can manage to do all that and more for the holiday season, can you extend that to 2010 and beyond?


Crossposted from TransGriot


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Melissa Dunagan | December 4, 2009 4:06 AM

I don't think people like you and I will ever be loved by a human being.This world just has way too much hate in it. But remember that God does love us. God knew we would crave love so he created dogs, cats and ferrets so we would have someone here on this earth to loves us.You know the world didn't love Jessus, and look what they did to him. Just be the very best that you can be, and love your enemies.

Take care

Sarah Vestal | December 4, 2009 9:14 AM

Thanks, Monica!

Robert Ganshorn Robert Ganshorn | December 6, 2009 9:02 AM

Monica, Love,

If I could tell you where my heart has been this week. We have lost the second female friend to cancer this year and spirits for the holidays are strained. I know it is not about us and ours it is about everyone and theirs.

I am reminded of what I kept hearing my father say all the time I was growing up: "It is a cold cruel world out there." He had other sayings, but they defy the optimism I have embraced and the bounds of what I would choose to say. My dad loved me and wanted so badly to toughen me up because I always cared about those he considered to the "the underdogs."

Guess what?, we were the underdogs to more than most. My parents could not just admit to themselves how low we were on the food chain. I have no pleasant memories of childhood, but I did have a great hunger not to live my life as they had. Perhaps that is a victory, but still, I learned one thing:

Life is not fair.

At the same time life is all we have and we are all called (not by god, but by decency) to protect anyone who has become defenseless. My old pastor at MCC asked a wonderful question once:

"How can we celebrate anything while a single person is living on the street?"

A Gay priest I knew told me that he would gladly close his church and live on nothing to just care for people on the street. He could live in embracing everyone he said. In the end he knew he was too much of a coward to do that and drank himself to death instead.

Monica, I have crawled through the muck of gang wars, with live ammo, in Chicago to come to a comfortable place and yet every time I think of anyone who considers themselves beneath being loved I cringe! I mean this for Melissa! Darling, I love you and Monica can put you in touch with me. I have a partner, but honey, I always have room to love. I may not understand everything, but I judge no one beyond their attitudes.

I have lived longer (age 56) but have known trans persons for 37 years and can put you in touch with a trans person here in Thailand if you do not wish to speak to me. Still, I hope I can offer experience in this mystery we call survival. It is not easy, seldom fair, and requires strength to get out of the other end and find peace.

A blessing on your journey.