The Bilerico Project | Daily experiments in LGBTQ

I am in Hawaii. It is beyond beautiful. I cannot begin to explain, so I will start taking a lot of photos to show. It is my first time and when Jeanine went for work last year, she said, oh, we have to go.

I know. I live a very blessed life.

Walter, the kids, Jeanine's Mom, are all with us. We rise with the rooster crowing- it's just so funny that there are wild chickens on the island. It's as if this gentle land only has one evil to throw at you... wild chickens.

Um... ok.

We arrived after what felt like the longest day in history- up at 3AM eastern standard time, finally arriving here at 8pm Hawaiian time. Dazed and a little confused, we all stayed up till about 9:30pm, to try and adjust to the time as quickly as possible.

Have I mentioned I don't do well with the lack of sleep?

Yesterday was a day of pool, beach, pool, beach, pool. We ended up in Hanalei, at a little restaurant for dinner- The Dolphin. It was fabulous with fresh fish, sushi, ceviche, and of course, chicken for the Weezie.

By 7pm, though, Jake was falling asleep in his dinner. (This seems to be a pattern for him!) We drove back, and the older boys went down to the pool with Jeanine, Walter and I.

The place was empty, but the ocean waves were great and we were all talking while the boys swam. Suddenly, and I mean suddenly, a wave of nausea went over me. I got sick.

I'll never be annoyed with Ben for not making the toilet again, because I didn't. It was the change in time, the sun, the lack of sleep that caught up to me.

I went to the ladies room.

There was an older gentleman attendant cleaning the ladies room. I was in no mood or shape to wait.

He said the all too familiar refrain, "This is the ladies room..."

Now, in better spirits, I would have flashed him the bad girls and let him know I belonged but I was in no mood.

I know where I am, and I belong here and please leave now.

He did, but then poked his head back in, certain I was a man in the ladies room- mind you, there was not another soul at the pool. Did it really matter that much?

I said, leave, thank you. Now.

He did.

This is a beautiful place. My heart is so full with my family here, enjoying the warm, the sand, the ocean. But paradise? Paradise would be a place where no one asks me if I belong in the ladies room.

I guess this isn't quite it.