Why does a female continue to date a female who constantly cheats and lies to them and totally disrespects them?
There's a variety of reasons that might motivate someone to stay in a relationship when they are being disrespected.
One of the theories about this that I find plausible is the Imago Theory of relationships. The Imago theory says this: We are drawn to people who help us recreate what is familiar from our childhood, so that we have the opportunity to "heal" those wounds as an adult.
Think about your greatest frustration, hurt or fear as a child. Once you have that in mind, fast forward to your life today. What do you find most frustrating about your relationships today? (We can recreate what's familiar in our work relationships, our friendships, and our most intimate relationships). The frustration you felt then, is probably very similar to the frustration(s) you experience still today.
For example, if you grew up in a family where you did not feel valued, were often mistreated, or your feelings were disregarded, you may have internalized the belief that you do not deserve to be respected; that you are not worthy. Fast-forward to adulthood and you may find that when you are with close friends or your partner, you often feel disrespected or mistreated.
That's part one of this theory (we recreate what's familiar). Part two, is that we tend to respond to these familiar hurts in the same way we did as a child.
Think about how you responded to your childhood frustrations. What did you do to protect yourself? Did you talk back and argue? Did you go to your room? Did you stay busy with friends and occupy your time outside of the home? Usually, the coping responses we learn as a child, stick with us as an adult - even if they stop working! If you felt disrespected and mistreated as a child and your response was to isolate, feel bad about yourself, and become depressed, for example, then that is likely what you are still doing today when you are mistreated.
Our life experiences shape our mind. Our mind shapes our feelings. Our feelings shape our behaviors. And unless we stop the cycle and examine any or all of these, we tend to do the same thing over and over again, getting the same results.
So what's the key to changing all of this, you ask? The trick to healing these wounds is to use this information about your childhood to heal your current relationships. It is useless to use this information: 1) to blame your parents, or anyone else; 2) to make excuses for your behaviors or your feelings; or 3) as justification for why you are the way you are and to not work on changing!
Instead, once you identify what triggers your hurt (i.e. "I feel disrespected"), and how you are responding (i.e. "I just put up with it), you can start making small changes in how you respond. If you don't stop to reflect on what isn't working, it's unlikely that it will ever change.
In a nutshell, women who stay with lyin', cheatin', no good partners are likely recreating what's familiar to them. Remember, they are recreating how they felt (not the exact circumstances that created those feelings), so the partner may appear to be different from her family of origin, but how she feels when she is with her, is the same. Until she chooses to stop the cycle of what's familiar, nothing is likely to change.