I know you will tell me the truth even if I won't like it. Is it possible to be a part-time gay? I read all the gay stuff I can find so that's why I'm here. I'm a jock who likes the ladies but I can get off on gay guys who go for me. I love to play them and I admit I like what happens with them....but when it's over I go back to being straight and happy for months before I do it again. Weirdo, right? Go head. Gimme hell, coach.
In the End Zone
I've been storing your letter for Superbowl season, so I'm uncorking it now.
First of all, I love your letter because I know you to the core. I've met so many versions of you. I recognize your type the instant I see you. There's just something in your eyes. A yearning. A challenge. A flirt. Playful and dangerous. I am not sure if I am attracted to your type or just attracted to the sport of drawing you out, but I've had fun with your type more times than I can remember. The funny thing is how I always manage to turn the tables on you guys. So easy to turn you from dominant into submissive. For me it's just an idle diversion. For you, it seems to be something more.
OK. So what's it all about, Alfie? Are you wondering if you are really just an incomplete gay? Are you stuck on yourself and insatiable in your need for attention? Are you wondering if you are mentally healthy, or are you twisted and in need of counseling? Is your gay life an irresistible obsession for you, and one you wish you could shed? Do you feel guilty about having to keep it a secret from everyone else on your "team" or maybe in your marriage or family? Many will tell you that if this behavior pattern is not a problem for you, just own it and enjoy it. I'm guessing otherwise. I suspect you are worried about your sexuality. I suspect you are worried that it will "get out of control". Worried that it will overtake the "straight" you. Seeing yourself yet, ITEZ?
Look, here's the deal. If you are leading a double life you can't admit to, you got a problem. That is rather why I stopped working as a priest, which was really a very comfortable life, by the way. If you are married to a woman - and your type often is - you have a big problem if your wife does not know what you are up to. Keeping your gay side hidden from your life-partner sort of takes the haha-winkwink out of it, doesn't it?
I don't want to come down too hard on you. I think that people ought to be sexually fluid and that when our race grows up we will all be able to have sex without regard to categories and labels. Meanwhile, play by the rules: "offside" is not always an offense, but no cheating, and "safety" is always your best position.