I think you sell short the immutability of sexual desire. Race is an arbitrary construct, but it does dovetail with physical appearance. While the ways in which we break down race are often weird and contradictory, it doesn't change the fact that, say, Ashkenazi Jews will generally look different from Indonesians.

Not wanting to date somebody who would otherwise fit your desires because of their race is something you ought to get over; not being attracted to people of a specific race is regrettable, but not a personal failing, and quite probably something you can't change.

Zacqary, I don't feel that makes you a bad person. I find African American women more beautiful than any other race. My issue is with those that look at the physical and nothing else. I'm African American and I've dated both women within my own race and outside of my race. It wasn't just a physical thing but an emotional and intellectual connection that I had with these women as well. If I say "I'm only interested in dating Latinas" then I might pass up a Russian woman that might be perfect for me. I just can't see myself pushing aside a person because of their race. Now, a nasty attitude is another thing and that can be found in every race of people.

What's interesting to me about these conversations is the cartwheels people will turn in order to deny that racism at least plays a role in this. Explain: Why are the excluded groups most commonly blacks and Asians?

When empirical research is done on personals sites, they always show that whites are preferred and blacks and Asians are at the bottom. When research is done on marriage patterns, black women are least desirable. Now, the solution to this is not to police preferences, but at the very least I would expect people to admit that this is clear evidence of racist aesthetics both in LGBT and straight communities.

I tend to find minute categorizations of my "favored type" according to things like race, height, body type, hair color and even gender expressions quite limiting. I find all sorts of things circumstantially attractive in all sorts of people, and I'm not sure why; I am quite sure that there is some racism at play in my sexuality (and also my socialization), though, and I'm not quite sure what to do about it.

The book Influence by Robert Cialdini details (among other things) how we are more likely to find something attractive which is familiar to us. Most likely this is learnt behavior but to characterize it as racist or prejudiced is perhaps slightly inacccurate. As a skinny (or "slender" as the romantic novels call it) guy I am sure many men do not like my look. Some may find this prejudicial but research has shown those who find people with more meat on their bones attractive are likely to have been around such people most of their lives (especially in family). So how about simply embracing the fact we are not going to be attractive to everyone and in the end you only need one person who finds you attractive and wants to be with you.

Suppose that we were to accept the basic premise here that a lack of sexual attraction to a person based on their immutable characteristic of race is somehow indicative of a flawed but changable character quality. What is the socially responsible and fearlessly introspective person to do? What kind of reparative therapy should be undertaken to broaden our sexual attractions to all-inclusiveness?

Here is a bigger question. Do we really want to live in a world where we must compete for the sexual desire of a lover with each and every person of every gender and race and body type and age and any other defining characteristic that makes us unique in some way or combination? Maybe we ARE all so narcissistic that we believe everybody should be attracted to us, and find it offensive when they are not.

I for one have a hard enough time staying monogamous with my partner due to what I consider very broad sexual attraction. May the gods help me if I have to nurture any more aspects of sexual attraction just to make everybody feel desirable.

I just realised that my total bafflement at anyone ruling out an entire ethnic group is partly because I was brought up (in my almost entirely white area) to believe that beauty can be seen in every group of people, but also because of my white privilege. The first bit is rather warm and fuzzy. The second is an embarrassment, but I'd better accept it.

Here are some systematic studies (not all are necessarily official sociological studies, but a systematic look at profiles, preferences, etc). The marriageability literature is vast so I didn't cite any here, but here are some things to get started:

Phua and Kaufman, "The Crossroads of Race and Sexuality" Journal of Family Issues 24 (2003).

This study finds a whole lot of f--ed up racial dynamics in their survey. Including:

-Gay men are 2 times more likely to express a race preference than straight men.
-Latinos are more likely to emphasize their whiteness in personals.
-Blacks are more likely to express a racial preference, but are also most likely to explicitly state that all races are welcome. They are more likely to prefer their own race, but a significant number prefer whites.
-Most people actually prefer their own race and Whites and least prefer blacks.
-Asians when they state a racial preference prefer whites to other Asians

Another study I remember was from 2001, and I actually had to dig up an old XY Magazine to find the reference (*embarrassed face*). Steven Vaschon (not a sociologist) did an informal study (let me stress the informal part) of 1200 online personals ads of black and white gay men and found that only 14% would date black men while 43% of black men would date white men. They also found that gay white men were least likely to engage in interracial dating. Interestingly, this study also found that blacks were also more likely to explicitly state no preferences.

If this were just a matter of random preferences, the patterns would be more random. We would see a more equitable distribution. But we don't. Blacks and Asians are always more likely to be less preferred. Why these groups? I never get an explanation.

See also: http://kinseyconfidential.org/race-ethnicity-affects-responds-online-dating/
and
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2009/06/090629114536.htm

I don't really get into personal thoughts. I see a pattern of mate selection that almost always communicates that certain people are not desired. Just like I don't care whether or not a cop is "actually" racist or not. I see a pattern of racial profiling in police practices. That does not mean that every time a cop pulls over a black or Latino man, that it is an incident of racial profiling. But racial profiling exists, nevertheless.

Sexual racism exists. Not every rejection of a person of a different race is an example of sexual racism. But we have clear evidence--both anecdotal and some systematic--that it does exist. Obviously racism is not the only explanation of preferences. Socioeconomic status, education, living arrangements, so on and so forth come into play. But please, it defies all sense to say that racism has nothing to do with it.

People rarely acknowledge that constantly seeing profiles and receiving messages that you are not wanted, and having people do it openly and repeatedly without being challenged, is damaging to the psyche of people of color. This is just one way in which LGBTs replicate racism that exists in society as a whole. It goes along with the lack of representation in LGBT venues, organizations, media, funding, etc and the everyday racism that people of color face. When people are constantly bombarded with these images, many of them will just stay away. They will go to places that cater to people of color (like BGC) or do their own thing. THEN when they form spaces that are designed to reduce these messages, they get to be accused of "separatism."

I don't expect people to agree with me, but it is yet another example of the cognitive dissonance displayed by many when it comes to racism. It is always fascinating to see what kind of contortions people will work themselves into to deny that a racist phenomenon exists. I will continue to watch this acrobatics show with much interest.

I think this is blown way out of proportion. I'm a white guy and don't feel I'm racist but honestly I don't find black or Asian men attractive in a physical way. It doesn't mean I hate Black or Asian people. I do find people of other races attractive.

I have never seen so many people bending so far backwards to be politically correct. Sexual racism? What, do I have to fuck someone of a different race to avoid the epithet of "racist" now? You people need to get a life. You have entirely too much time on your hands.

In this case, it would be the left that has an issue with such flawed behavior, not the American right. Our version of "reparative therapy" usually consists of highbrow mockery and sarcasm, rather than cuddling with a "father-figure".

I firmly disagree. Joanna Pitman wrote a book about blondes called "On Blondes" which points out how after Roman soldiers defeated Germans they imported German beauty standards. Roman woman began dying their hair blonde. She pointed out how rare it was for a defeated people to become the objects of beauty. Joanna also pointed out the goddess of beauty in ancient Greece was blonde. (Remember these two examples were before mass media)

Japan and South Korea have only one percent foreign population and of those most are Chinese. Even with a near 100% native population Japanese and South Koreans want to look white/ Caucasian. They will have eye surgery to widen their eyes and remove the fold over it, have rhinoplasty to create a defined bridge, shave down their cheek bones, whiten their skin and dye their hair. Here is just one video showing Japanese celebrites with major plastic surgery to look white/Caucasian.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDW5UvRbfPA

The fact is people see beauty and it's white/Caucasian.