Dear Father Tony,
I'm going to tell you about something that I have never heard talked about before. After my long-time-partner (male) comes, his stomach gets really tight like he is trying to hold something back, and then, when he can't hold it back any more, he bursts out laughing. Not a loud laugh, but an uncontrollable laugh that he can't stop. I used to be really bothered by it. Now, I'm used to it, but I just don't get it. Do other men do this? Is it "normal"? Am I doing something wrong? He says he is not laughing at me and he doesn't know why he does it but he can't hold it back.
How weird is that?
Married to Tickle-Me-Elmo?
Dear Funny Valentine,
Just when I think I've heard everything....You are right, I also have never seen this discussed, and although I've had sex with countless men, not one of them has ever, post-comingly, burst into uncontrollable laughter. I can see where it would cause you distress.
Here's what I think is going on. The moments/minutes right after orgasm are some of the most relaxed/relieved/tranquil moments a man can experience. That is why many of them simply fall asleep, and why others reach for the enhancement of a cigarette, and why others who are ordinarily reticent become talkative and unburden their souls.
Is your man ordinarily uptight or nervous? I am guessing that he is pretty tightly wound and that his post-orgasm snickers are an expression of his rare moment of relaxation. He doesn't know how to enjoy that relaxation, so it is expressed in nervous laughter, a laughter that almost mocks the "release" he has just permitted himself.
I am all about people giving themselves frequent license to enjoy life in a healthy and productive and loving way. I think his laughter may be a sign that he doesn't have skills in that area. I bet that if he gave himself license in other parts of his life, he'd stop laughing at his sexual permission. Anyway, be assured that he is not laughing at you. If anything, you should be worried if he stops laughing and if you can't see any change in any other area of his life with you. If that happens, it would indicate that he has found additional relaxation "elsewhere".
Oddly enough, his laughter is a compliment to you, his only source of relaxation and respite from nervousness.
That's all I got. Readers?
PS: Everything is normal.