The Olfactory Beauty of Vulva Original [NSFW?]
Filed by: Prince Gomolvilas
February 13, 2010 12:00 PM
In a previous post on my Bamboo Nation blog, 
I established Mr. Colin Farrell's love of a woman's vagina, which I assume can be attributed to the fine scent it emits. (As a gay man, I can only make assumptions when it comes to the scent of a woman.) When straight men and gay women go down there, I'm sure they too want to scream, like Mr. Farrell, "Breakfast, lunch, and motherf*cking dinner right here!"
It was only inevitable, then, that a product like Vulva Original (this is 100% real and not a joke!) would hit the market with such shameless force. It's not a perfume or anything like that. It's a container of vagina scent that you can sniff whenever you want.
According to the manufacturers:
The vaginal scent of a beautiful woman. VULVA Original is NOT a perfume. It is the feminine, erotic, intimate scent for your own smelling pleasure. The NEW scent filled into an exclusive glass phial with a comfortable roll-on-applicator with more content of that precious, organic substance.
Our greatest challenge was to preserve the intimate scent without altering the essences thereof. After many years of extensive testing and an especially developed preservation procedure, we have succeeded in capturing the sought-after organic vaginal scent with a long lasting effect.
The phial is shaken gently...only a tiny amount of the slightly yellow, desirable substance is applied onto the back of the hand and the irresistible smell that exudes from a sensuous vagina immediately intensifies your erotic fantasies and starts the film rolling in your head. Breathe in and enjoy, anytime, anywhere, the intimate smell of an irresistible woman.
Seriously? Seriously?!
Here's the probably not-safe-for-work promotional video. Watch:
[H/T 50in50.]
[Cross-posted on Bamboo Nation.]
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ew.
i like pussy, but, ew.
Les | February 13, 2010 12:13 PM
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Oh. God.
Yes, I'll second that, Les.
timberwraith | February 13, 2010 2:57 PM
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third.
no | February 13, 2010 3:56 PM
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I think life just got easier for the people who sell used panties for profit.
Veronica | February 13, 2010 12:39 PM
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How do they manufacture such a thing? Do they pay women to be "vagina juice donors"? Is that a process similar to being a sperm donor?
A. J. Lopp | February 13, 2010 2:23 PM
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That's creepy on so many levels XD.
And, having heard from many straight men's horror stories, vaginas don't always smell too well lol. Just like fucking pigs who don't wash their dick and then expect you to go down on them.
Lucrece | February 13, 2010 3:55 PM
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"When straight men and gay women go down there"
seriously? even on an LGBT website you're going to ignore the "B"? i know it's clumsy to say "straight/bi" and "gay/bi" but i would have thought that here of all places would be one place that would bother to do it. so much for inclusiveness...
a. | February 13, 2010 4:22 PM
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For a price, I will sell them my underwear. There's money to be made in various ways, and this might be one of them. (hee hee)
Annette | February 13, 2010 5:04 PM
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Thank you!! Thank you!! Thank you!!!
These are the kinds of posts that make Facebook fun for me....I hope my aunts/cousins enjoy VULVA.
Seriously....Yay!
patrick | February 13, 2010 5:25 PM
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You're welcome, Patrick. Don't you wish it were Christmas, just so you can give these out as presents to EVERYONE?
Prince Gomolvilas | February 13, 2010 9:16 PM
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Now I'll admit to liking a man's musk, but I'd never steal an exercise bike's seat just to sniff it occasionally. Jeebus that video is fucking creepy.
*shudders*
Bil Browning | February 13, 2010 6:26 PM
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Liar.
Prince Gomolvilas | February 16, 2010 1:50 PM
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Oh. M. G. Prince, you never fail to show us unimaginable follies :-)
I'm guessing the copy was written by a bunch of dudes. Because, for women, the words "slightly yellow" does not combine with "desirable substance" extruded from vagina. Just saying, you know?
And I take it this is not meant to attract other women? I mean, would a woman actually be attracted to a man smelling like...well, a "slightly yellow, desirable substance?" So, essentially, the point is for the man to give himself a hard-on every now and then?
Okay, I think I just tied myself into knots right there...what marketing genius came up with this one???
Yasmin Nair | February 15, 2010 12:05 AM
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Again, Yasmin, I have no experience in this, so I had to assume that glorious vaginal juices are "slightly yellow" and that's why they mentioned it. You mean to tell me that glorious vaginal juices are NOT "slightly yellow"? But...but...but...they went through years of extensive testing!
Prince Gomolvilas | February 16, 2010 1:54 PM
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Hahahahaha. OK, now they need to make a man's crotch perfume. I'm sure that would have a market.
Alex Blaze | February 15, 2010 4:53 PM
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I was waiting to see if someone would suggest that ... maybe we could start a celebrity product and call it something like "Shaq's Funky Jockstrap" ...
A. J. Lopp | February 15, 2010 8:26 PM
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A.J., I am SO not buying that. :)
Prince Gomolvilas | February 16, 2010 1:55 PM
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been there with the vagina smell in the past...not likin' it! i cannot imagine this...i remember as a teenager being told "smells like fish" and finding out later how right it was....forgive me - i'm sure it's only the straight women who have this particular "fragrance."
i enjoy the musky smell of a man's crotch, of course; but i don't think i'd want to notice it from his cologne.
George | February 16, 2010 5:29 PM
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