The Bilerico Project | Daily experiments in LGBTQ

New research from the University of South Falls-Nebraska, has found that children of LGBT parents are more than three times as likely to win Nobel Prizes as their peers with one mom and one dad.

In-depth interviews with 1,283 children of LGBT parents showed that 89 percent felt they were "likely" or "very likely" to win one of the awards, versus 59 percent in a similar sample of children with non-LGBT parents. "Initially, the results were closer," explained lead researcher Dr. Kate Fabri, "but then a number of the straight parents came out and we had to recalculate."

Dr. Fabri denied accusations that she herself had been involved in many of those revelations. Her conversation with this interviewer was cut short, however, when one of the many toaster ovens in her office caught fire.

After dousing the flames, Dr. Fabri offered an explanation of her findings. "Children of LGBT parents often feel pressure to do better than their peers in order not to cast doubt on their parents' abilities to raise them. Clearly, that leads to a trend of overachievement."

Dr. Fabri speculates, therefore, that one way for the U.S. to maintain its scientific and cultural predominance in the 21st century is to allow only LGBT people to have children.