Alex Blaze

Question of the day: What should we call George Rekers, et al.?

Filed By Alex Blaze | May 14, 2010 12:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Living
Tags: closet cases, CNN, George Rekers, lz granderson, names

LZ Granderson has a great column up at CNN.com on closeted bi/homosexuals who work to hurt and keep the rest of us in the closet. As he says, it'd be something like "Uncle Tom" but for the gay world.

It's another way of thinking of these people that seems more accurate - this isn't "gays vs. haters" but an internal division among queers who have radically different views on how we should express our sexuality. There's a difference between


  1. the total closet cases who just try to keep quiet about their sexuality without, say, torturing children until they act straight,

  2. the partial closet cases who try to balance their professional, personal, and family lives in often stressful ways, and

  3. the others who devote their entire lives to supporting the politics and pseudoscientific propaganda of sexual and gender policing (of the rubes, of course, not themselves).


Using the word "closet case" for all these people just isn't helpful.

We're the people who assigned "twink," "otter," "bear," "byke," "lipstick," and other fun words to groups of people. There's no reason we can't come up with something for the George Rekerses of the world (I oppose "George Rekerses" right now).


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I recommend we call them "monsters."

Rektum--close to an asshole, but deeper, darker and frequently full of shit.

And leave poor Uncle Tom out of it! Passive, servile (type-A in your model) but not like the guy was flogging slaves to prove how white he was.

Well he and his type are strange birds indeed. Rarely seen by ornithologists because they spend most of their lives in darkness. I think they are properly classified as Would Peckers.

Kathy Padilla | May 14, 2010 1:06 PM

I nominate "Gantry's"

from Elmer Gantry


"Lulu Bains: Oh, he gave me special instructions back of the pulpit Christmas Eve. He got to howlin' "Repent! Repent!" and I got to moanin' "Save me! Save me!" and the first thing I know he rammed the fear of God into me so fast I never heard my old man's footsteps!"

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0053793/

How about "Aunt George?"

How about "stealth queer?"

If a stealth bomber is a plane that that can hide from radar, then a "stealth queer" is someone who can hide from gaydar.

Willem van Oranje | May 14, 2010 3:01 PM

A Cohn? After Ray Cohn.

Or Countergay? After Counterespionage

Willem van Oranje | May 14, 2010 3:35 PM

I'm sorry, it's Roy Cohn, not Ray

A. J. Lopp | May 14, 2010 3:41 PM

None of the suggestions above are bad.

However, Waymon Hudson approached this question over a year ago and got a number of good suggestions back then.

I do like Waymon's "homo-roid" even though Rekers is only one type of many gay pains-in-the-ass. (For example, Perez Hilton is a gay pain-in-the-ass of a very different type.)

And I again cast my vote for "queersling" ... based in history to appeal to the intellectuals among us, but entirely sleezy in the way that it rolls off the tongue.

I prefer guisling - close enough to quisling.

Or quislingay (which perhaps sounds too much like pig latin), but it gets the core idea across, and you don't have to explain that it's not a typo.

Then again, perhaps a dose of pig latin is appropriate when talking about traitorous swine.

I just call haters haters. Group a and group c here are haters, homophobes, anti-queer, whatever. These people are my enemies. Group b, closeted people (middle aged?) I see as people who have different needs, wants, and situations and do my best to be there to support and help if they ever decided to come out. I do not consider all closeted folks anti-gay, only the ones that work against queer folks. I do not accept self-loathing as an excuse to be a bigot.

battybattybats battybattybats | May 15, 2010 4:24 AM

Coward-Cannibals

Killing their own kind to save their own miserable skin.

How about calling him an "Uncle Dick." After all, he is dicking us.

A. J. Lopp | May 15, 2010 3:59 PM

I don't know ... gay men tend to like dicks, no matter what transgressions they may be guilty of.

(I know I still like mine --- in fact, even though it's close to useless at my advanced age, I'm still quite attached to it.)

"Aunty M" (for "M"unster - and yes, I used u instead of o),

or "NARTHican"