Bil Browning

Rep Aaron Schock: So Not Gay He'll Burn His Teal Belt

Filed By Bil Browning | June 15, 2010 11:00 AM | comments

Filed in: Entertainment
Tags: closet cases, fashion sense, Illinois, Rep Aaron Schock, shirtless Congressman

When a picture of closeted Illinois Representative Aaron Schock surfaced at the White House wearing a pink and white aaron_schock.jpgchecked shirt with white pants and a teal belt, the blogosphere lit up with snide innuendos and catty comments. Schock's live-in partner is regularly seen at DC functions reportedly.

So what's a virile hot closet case like Schock to do? What could possibly bring back his macho grab-her-and-fuck-her-like-a-man image?

Why, you burn that teal belt. Of course. I guess voting against hate crimes legislation and the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell just wasn't enough.

From the Congressman's Twitter stream: @repaaronschock: Never thought a pic of me w/ my shirt on would go viral. Learned my lesson and burned the belt.

Personally, I prefer the picture of him without his shirt on. It's after the jump.

tmz-aaron_schock.jpg

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First of all, burning that belt is such a high drama, gay response. Second of all, no, wait, that's it ;)

Ah, well, see.. there are boobies in the second picture. That clearly means he's not gay. *wink*

Everyone is missing the big question here: Did his shoes match that belt?

Dear Congressman Schock,
You represent the Congressional district in which this ole dyke grew up, came out, and left behind just as soon as I was able to do so. Why? Because it is filled with folks that want people like me--openly lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender--to disappear from the face of this good green earth. Not everyone in Central Illinois wants me (and you, if you ever actually appear) to disappear. The LGBT folk of Peoria and Springfield and other small cities of Illinois are busy organizing to take their rightful places in their home communities. I know that each of us has our own journey to make out of our closets. But, please, get a move on. You are entering the "open secret" zone of homosexuality: we all know who you are and look forward to the day when you will stand up and say it yourself, as all adults ought to do. As an elected official, Congressman, you have little privacy available to you. You have colleagues in Congress who share that pain, but that's just reality in this 24/7 media driven world. No amount of belt-burning will save you the stress and sickness of living in a closet; nor will any number of anti-LGBT votes keep your hetero fig leaf in place. Your predecessor Ray LaHood, current Secretary of Transportation in the Obama Administration, was never much of a friend to LGBT people, but he at least wasn't hiding in a coffin standing on its end.
Best Regards,
Sue Hyde
Former resident, Beardstown Illinois

Rick Sours | June 15, 2010 2:07 PM

source Wikipedia:

"Schock is considered to be more conservative than his two moderate precessors, Congressmen, Bob Michel and Ray LaHood."

I saw that belt-burning thing this morning, and was just like, "Oh, yeah, burning a fashion accessory that didn't work, so not gay." Mm-hmm.

He'll just put that belt back in the closet. :-)

He uses that belt when performing auto-erotic!

Wether he is or isn't irrelevant, I just don't want in another 10 years to hear another 'Wide Stance' excuse for him cruising men's bathrooms.

If he is heterosexual, he's one of the most metrosexual men I've ever seen. Unless you're an olympic athlete there's no reason to spend that much time in a gym. To have abs like that you practically have to starve yourself; eat a freakin' burger, and try to keep it down this time.

WOW!!! That ensemble simply Skuh-reems, "I prance (and swish) in the pride parade."