Ok, Ok, Ok.
I am very sorry.
I owe all of you about eighteen posts. All today. All funny, too.
Over the last few months, I've been involved in an incredible experience of searching for a new Executive Director of Mass Equality. It has been a roller coaster ride, mostly for personal reasons. The search itself has been exciting. I am crossing my fingers and toes that it ends tonight successfully.
Big happy update on my sister: Her numbers are great, she's feeling better and is even considering a trek to downeast to watch the waves. Big reality check: it's been a hard month prior to that. She was feeling pretty awful prior to a change in the chemo, and pretty sure she was about to die.
I did not believe she was about to die. I understood she was feeling really crappy but that chemo is a chemistry guessing game, and tweaks here and there can make a world of difference.
We had a few rough conversations. I went down a dark hole of feeling like I was not good enough, not doing enough because... well... she told me that.
We worked on how to communicate better. How to be clear about what she wants- and what she needs. How I can be clear about what I can and cannot do. It's not easy for either of us to do. We're going to try.
Thankfully, a new chemo tried, and lo and behold, it (knock wood) is working. Of course, I knock wood, she thanks God. All bases are covered.
We're off to Downeast tomorrow. The one thing that consistently comes up for me, is my horrible evasion of conflict. I need to sit with that for a while. It is my biggest challenge, has been for years.
Yes, Yes, Yes. I will write more later. This is the reader's digest version of all that's been going on- I can do better and I will.