Bil Browning

Comment of the Week: GrrrlRomeo

Filed By Bil Browning | October 24, 2010 5:30 PM | comments

Filed in: Media
Tags: It Gets Better, President Obama, reader comment

When I posted President Obama's "It Gets Better" video, I asked what Projectors thought of the video. The responses ran the gamut from offended that he would make a symbolic gesture while his administration defends DOMA and DADT to proud that the President would publicly send a positive message to LGBT kids.

commentofweek1.pngProjector GrrrlRomeo's comment pretty much summed up my thoughts on the video; I wanted to highlight it and share it with everyone. What do you think of her response?

Whether or not I think this is just PR is irrelevant. It's not about me. I'm not a struggling gay teenager anymore. It's about gay teens.

Like Clinton calling Pedro Zamora before he died. It meant something....like wow the President is actually thinking about gay people with AIDS...unlike Reagan. Crumbs? Yeah, but again we're talking about struggling teenagers.

If you have a life saver to save a drowning kid, you don't bitch and wait for the life boat, helicopter and rescue team to come.

We need rights from the top and support from the bottom. We need both. They're equally important.


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You're absolutely right: gay youth need to see that the president has something good to say about gay people.

However, gay youth should also be able to distinguish between the sheep and the wolf. Hillary Clinton made a great video and her department has as many gay friendly policies as is legally possible. Hillary has backed up her position with action.

Contrast this to The Douche-Bag (Obama). He didn't make the video until after Hillary had. And, again, we got pretty words from The DB, but that is all. For all of his words, The DB invited Rick Warren to do the invocation, we got DOMA appealed, and we have DADT being appealed.

To the young, it does get better. There are those politicians who care about your future. Make sure to know who these are. Be just as honest about who just wants to use you.

As important as The DB's message is; and it is important that a sitting President support us verbally, remember, Mr Obama is not our champion. He did this video only because he didn't want Hillary looking more appealing in 2012.

I suggest to all that we understand Obama for what he is: a rather conservative centrist who doesn't like progressives and who doesn't like gay people.

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.

Let's use our money to support a real progressive in the 2012 primary. Let's not be duped again by this Douche-Bag.

And I thought it was my job to ruin some positive thoughts.

For gay teens the message that "it get's better" is helpful and empowering. The need to call Obama a "douche-bag" isn't - he's the only douche-bag we have right now. You suggest simply waiting until 2012 so we can "try again." Wait, who's the douche-bag?

Great comment Grrrl. You reached higher than most of us do. Thank-you.

Not facing the facts is also not useful.

Youth need hope, not false hope.

Knowing who are friends are is useful.
Pretending that someone likes you when they don't isn't so useful.

That's not terribly difficult to understand.

And, when someone takes your money, your volunteer time, and your votes with the promise of being a fierce advocate and then invites Rick Warren to do the invocation, appeals DOMA, and then appeals DADT, that makes him not only a douche-bag, but The Douche-Bag.

As Ted Olson pointed out, there was no reason for The Douche-Bag to appeal DADT. He did that on his own.

For me, I think it is important that the young understand the difference between committed politicians to gay equality and those who only want our votes.

But, you go ahead and criticize those of us fed up with this fake progressive. You go ahead and give him your money, your time, and your vote. When he still hasn't done what he promised, I'm sure you'll have an excuse.

Well, then I guess you could go yell at somebody. Maybe stomp your feet. Inconvenience some people. Irritate people. Embarrass them.

That's worked so well this year.

Sign up today: www.GetEqual.com

How odd, we were in agreement on the other posting.

This isn't foot stomping. This is political observation. Yes, it is useful that The Douche Bag did the video. However, we've heard pretty words from him before, and he still throws us under the bus. I'm suggesting that people pay attention to what The Douche Bag has done instead of getting all excited about a video with nice words.

Because, in the end, even with the nice words, gays still can't serve in the military.

And, sending me a link to getequal just makes you look like Deena. She argues that way too.

Guess I'm on the wrong blog. I thought this was for realists. I was wrong. Go figure.

The problem is that we don't have a third choice and in politics you only get "hope." As fare as I can tell Obama has let everyone down, not just us. His pragmatism is nothing like his lofty campaign speeches. In his first two years he hasn't accomplished anything and he'll be a one-term President. I don't see where the LGBT community attacking him has done anybody any good.

So, perhaps I misunderstood your comment. I never thought Obama was a progressive - I always thought he was another Bill Clinton and right now it feels like 1994 all over again.

You're not really talking about teenagers anymore, Joe. Youth need a childhood. They need to be able to go to the prom with who they want without getting segregated.

Having your sexuality and gender politicized and debated is something straight people don't have to deal with. (And really NO one should. But that's heterosexual privilege.) To say 15 and 16 year old gay kids should start dealing with that sooner and in greater depth is kinda cruel I think. Geezus, LGBT youth already disproportionately suicidal and homeless AND you want them to start thinking politics? They don't have the coping skills to do that yet.

If Obama doesn't deliver by 2012, these kids that are 16 now won't vote for him when they're 18. And the Democrats will lose a group of young future voters. But gay kids need to get to voting age for that to even matter...kids that are right now just thinking about surviving another day or week of school.

Just because I applaud Obama for contributing to It Gets Better does NOT mean I let him off the hook for anything else.

Well stated, Grrrl, and congratulations.

Today I am pissed about the DADT stay/appeal, and the Administration's canard that simply doing away with DADT would create huge problems. But nobody has ever been able to say what problems. BECAUSE THERE ARE NO PROBLEMS. We have been working side-by-side, showering, bunking, you name it, with str8 peoples' sorry asses forever and everywhere. To pretend otherwise , that we are some exotic new species whose future integration into reality must be studied, is just to perpetuate the lie that there is something mysteriously and fundamentally wrong with us, and that the world has some good, if equally mysterious, reason for not being able to handle it. THAT'S the real message Obama, with his actions-that-speak -louder -than -words, is sending to at-risk queer youth: You're not really part of the world, and since we've erased your history we can pretend you never were; You can't be part of the world, because there is something wrong with you that str8 people just wont' accept ; in a word WE CAN'T HANDLE YOUR EXISTENCE, SO DISAPPEAR. And THAT is the message that is causing kids to kill themselves.

So, no, Obama doesn't get a pass from me. It's simply not true that he is obliged to bring this appeal, nor that he couldn't exercise his executive authority to halt enforcement of DADT. Those are just lies. Nor is it true that he can send an authentically positive message to any LGBTQ person while telling such lies.

Kids aren't stupid , Mr. President. They hear the words AND the music. And YOUR music says, ' I am telling you it gets better because I have to say that, even though I don't really care about you , and in fact I wish you would go away and disappear because you are politically inconvenient as well as personally distasteful to me.'

I find GrrrlRomeo's viewpoint one of the most refreshing I have heard lately.

"It's not about me." I would add; it's not JUST about me. The constant flow of Obama-Bashing really is tiresome. Has he been a "fierce advocate"? No. I suggest that he is a realist. Moreover, I submit he was unprepared for the most cynically calculated agenda in the history of partisan politics.

Bravo Grrrl, you made my day!

How realistic was it for him to invite Rick Warren. How was it realistic to appeal DOMA or DADT. No one forced his hand here.

You wrote,
"I submit he was unprepared for the most cynically calculated agenda in the history of partisan politics."

That is because he thought he could handle it with bipartisanship. You would think that an intelligent person who was in favor of bipartisanship would study some recent history. For example, just how well did bipartisanship work for Clinton.

I submit that had The Douche-Bag been honestly in favor of gay equality then he would not have appealed DOMA and DADT.

And if you're tired of Obama bashing, a great number of us are tired of Douche-Bag apologetics.

NO ONE FORCED HIM TO APPEAL. WHAT IS SO DIFFICULT ABOUT UNDERSTANDING THAT PEOPLE GET ANGRY WHEN THEY HAVE BEEN LIED TO AND BETRAYED.

Do you mean the comment? -or my attitude?

Yes to the former, no to the latter.

As Joe so gently suggests, I am indeed, *GASP*, an Obama apologist. An apologist as some might define the term.

In actuality, I think Obama had his own form of disingenuinousness to peddle but lacked the tactical skills to pull it off. He certainly is intelligent enough to have understood quickly that bi-partisanship was a pipedream but he kept selling it. Showdowns with republican leadership over stimulus and healthcare seemed (to me) to have been public posturing; Hyped to build a "righteous indignation" narrative providing a bulwark against the inevitable discontent with the economy.

Still, I think he believes in and wants to accomplish the progressive initiatives he carelessly bandied about during the campaign. I think he believed his own myth and his own hype.

Like many presidents, his skills will become surer and his instincts better honed during the second half of his term.

Yeah, I meant the Comment of the Week thing.

I don't think I'm an apologist or whatever the opposite is. I just criticize the bad and praise the good. And...a mix of both with things that are a mix of good and bad.

Do you mean the comment? -or my attitude?

Yes to the former, no to the latter.

As Joe so gently suggests, I am indeed, *GASP*, an Obama apologist. An apologist as some might define the term.

In actuality, I think Obama had his own form of disingenuinousness to peddle but lacked the tactical skills to pull it off. He certainly is intelligent enough to have understood quickly that bi-partisanship was a pipedream but he kept selling it. Showdowns with republican leadership over stimulus and healthcare seemed (to me) to have been public posturing; Hyped to build a "righteous indignation" narrative providing a bulwark against the inevitable discontent with the economy.

Still, I think he believes in and wants to accomplish the progressive initiatives he carelessly bandied about during the campaign. I think he believed his own myth and his own hype.

Like many presidents, his skills will become surer and his instincts better honed during the second half of his term.

AMEN, GrrrlRomeo!

I'll tell you what, I'm fairly disappointed with the President myself--in fact it was my first Bilerico Post here 93 posts and 18 months ago--but this it what it is: a very positive move for teens that need to know that the whole world is NOT against them.

I am very much turned off by the prominent bloggers and vloggers who turned the President's video into something else--another reason to attack.

When my sister was little, sometimes Christmases and Birthdays were a little tense. She really is not a brat anymore, but somehow she was born with a streak in her. When she started talking, it was a little shocking. Every Holiday she'd ask for specific things, and my poor family would do their best to comply. Inevitably she would unwrap a gift and express her disappointment that it was not what she'd asked for. It was obnoxious, rude and immature.

You know what? She doesn't do that anymore. She grew up and got over that. We need to as well. I felt the same way when the President signed the memo extending some benefits to same-sex partners of Federal employees, and everyone went to town slamming it as if it were a bad thing.

Everything in its own time. I don't mean to say 'quit criticizing the President,' but I do mean to emphasize this is not one of the litany of offenses, so don't pretend it is. Praise it for what it is--a magnificent step.

Yup.
I just want to remind people that LGBT persons have achieved more legal recognition, more social acceptance and greater health consideration/benefits in the last few years than we have in my entire lifetime.
There is a lot of work to do- there always will be. But, to take a page from the campaign- it's getting better, much better.

So, um, Joe, exactly who is it you're going to be supporting for president in 2012?

Reddaddy012 | October 25, 2010 4:18 PM

People it was the GOP it that stalled DADT from being repeal, the same Hateful people that teach thier to bully other Kids because thier Gay

firewall cleanup | October 26, 2010 12:18 AM

Youth should also be able to distinguish between the sheep and the wolf. Hillary Clinton made a great video and her department has as many gay friendly policies as is legally possible. Hillary has backed up her position with action.