And since I'm not one to complain about such skin-centric requests -- and it's certainly better than my idea: musing about how Fox now prohibits The Simpsons from televising illustrated tush -- I'd like to take a second to celebrate the late-1940s and 50s-era beefcake, particularly actor Ricardo Montalban.
In Praise of Ricardo Montalban's Beefcake Past
Though best known for his later work on the television show Fantasy Island, when Montalban got his start he was marketed as a "beefcake," much like his peers, Buster Crabbe and Rudolph Valentino, and cast as the "Latin Lover" in some notable big screen flicks, like Border Incident and Mystery Street.
The term "beefcake" started bubbling up in the 1950s, and traces its etymological origins to the female-oriented term "cheesecake," which Time magazine in 1934 defined as "leg-pictures of sporty females."
"Cheesecake" has since fallen out of style, but its male counterpart, beefcake, meaty and subtly penile, has endeared through the ages. None of the "beefcakes" on display today, however, compare to Montalban and his generation. So, here are some pictures of Montalban from a bygone era.
The actor's death last year was the end of his breed's era, and its doubtful today's Hollywood personalities can ever capture the raw male sexuality exhibited in Montalban and company's vintage aesthetic.
Surely Ricardo's telling this woman that he's saving himself for a time traveling me...