The Bilerico Project | Daily experiments in LGBTQ

My partner, the corporate CEO with the Italian power suits, is on the couch in his underwear, nuzzling our dog Pebbles adoringly. "I love my good girl so much," he says, his voice a childish coo. "I wish she was really small so I could carry her around in my ear..."

"I know, sweetie," I reply, understanding completely. All fifty pounds of Auggie (right) are on my chest as he lightly snores. It's getting hard to breathe but I don't mind. "Let's take Auggie to the W for brunch again. Maybe they'll let him sit in a chair this time."

If we're not petting them, we're making out with them. Or overfeeding them. Or talking to guests about how adorable they are, as if their level of adorableness wasn't evident when they attacked the guests with their tongues upon arrival.

And so, for all you pet lovers, here are my Top Five Most Adorable Animal Videos. I don't care if you've seen one of more of them before. I can't stop watching them.

In ascending order, they are:

#5. Breakfast at Ginger's

Theatrical, yes, but I contend it's the dog, not the props, that make me scream and clap when I watch this.

#4 Dog Attacks Himself

Dogs can be so stupid it's cute, and it's reassuring to know they might actually need us to keep them from hurting themselves.

#3 TIE: Freeway Dog Rescue & Dog Has Kitties for Lunch

First Freeway Dog Rescue, wherein you will hold your breath and then cheer like a Rocky movie, and then Dog Has Kitties for Lunch, which begs the question, Why can't we all just get along?

#2 Surprise Kitty

Okay, you can see I'm a dog lover. But this kitty shows more charm in two seconds than most cats do all day. Why can't they all just stay like this?

And the top most adorable YouTube animal video is...

#1 The Elephant and the Doggie

I laughed, I cried, it's better than "Cats."

Let the debate -- and your additions to the list -- begin!