A couple of thoughts as I go into the new year...
The second to last conversation I had with my sister, she said to me, live like tomorrow isn't coming. You never know. It's true, and for her, very true. Yes, she was sick, but what hit her was astoundingly bad.
If you tell your kids it's time to clean? Whatever fighting or yelling had been happening stops. They scatter. Fast.
I am way more capable than I pretend to be. I actually know my way around a computer, can find my way around on the subway, and am able to lift heavy things. I'm getting a little tired of being pegged as someone who cannot (although I have certainly fostered such thoughts.).
The next time they say Snookie is dropping from in a ball? It better be six stories instead of six inches. What a disappointment.
New Years Eve is highly overrated. I will never, ever experience the crunch of Times Square and I feel pretty good about that.
I am starting to come to grips with the fact that I'm an orphan. Sure, I have some family alive but not any I'd ever talk to again. My sister was it. It's over. I finally understand, although not yet deeply, a friend of mine who has been alone in the world for some time.
My wife's family is beyond fabulous. Some are coming to my sister's memorial. Yes, there will be a tequila toast. Odd to write this after saying I have no family- I do have family. But I don't. Both are true.
Everyone- if you love whoever you are going to leave all your worldly goods to? Get organized. I've only shaved off a teeny tiny bit of the iceberg and I'm overwhelmed. Paper bags are not the best filing cabinets. I'm not complaining just... overwhelmed.
Don't ever forget to say I love you at the end of a phone call. Always. Even if you're pissed.
And now I'm going to get ready for dinner. A couple friends are coming over. I'm not quite up to it but it's time to shake the cobwebs and get back to life again.
Happy new year. It's gotta get better, right?
(Photo via meddygarnet's Flickr photostream)