Alex Blaze

Don't Say Straight, Either

Filed By Alex Blaze | April 25, 2011 6:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Media
Tags: heterosexual privilege, lesbian, LGBT, lockhorns, overpopulation, transgender, Washington Post

The Washington Post has a humorous column up responding to the Tennessee "Don't Say Gay" bill that sandwich.jpgwould ban teachers from discussing any sexuality other than heterosexuality in schools. Apparently there's too much heterosexuality at school for one of the Post's staff writers:

People would not choose to be attracted to members of the opposite sex if someone had not read them a book in their childhood about a male and female duck forming a family. Curse whoever read that book! Such attractions are powerfully distracting! They ended Edward VII's promising career!

Why brainwash our kids?

If you can't share it with the whole class, don't bring it up at all! Some people say they have favorite sexual positions. My favorite position is the one where you don't talk about it, ever, and occasionally you eat a sandwich and feel kind of lonesome.

Read the rest.

It really is a shame that we're not teaching children all the ill-effects of heterosexuality, starting with Malthus and going all the way down to The Lockhorns, so that they know to avoid it. Heaven forbid my children go to a college in Texas that promotes heterosexuality. img src


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It's an excellent piece! I just posted it on Facebook.

I say curses to all those Disney animations too. They surely didn't help either.

Too late to comment on original posting, but writer presumably meant Edward VIII, not Edward VII. Always important to keep your royals straight (or whatever).

the lockhorns?

i thought you might go with andy capp...

by the way: have you seen this or this?

(the noun-ing in the stories is ugly, but hey...)

Alex has a thing for the Lockhorns. We still accept him as part of the Ed Team but we regard him with suspicion because of it.

I think the Lockhorns is a great example of the perils of heterosexuality. A gay couple would have already long broken up before reaching their level of constant, seething contempt.

so is andy capp--except, of course, that the capps have that charming element of domestic violence--british style--that the lockhorns lack.