Paige Schilt

Donor Duet, Part II

Filed By Paige Schilt | May 25, 2011 12:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Living
Tags: donor insemination, lesbian moms, parenting, queer family, rock-n-roll

This is the second installment in a four-part series. Read the first installment here.

Before Waylon was born, I believed that my future child would not watch much television. On the rare occasions when he did watch television, I imagined, he would choose something that I liked - something witty and subversive like PeeWee's Playhouse.

thomas.jpg Apparently there's a karmic debt to be paid for such hubris, because my son did turn out to like television, quite a bit. At age four, his favorite show was Thomas and Friends, a neo-Victorian boy's tale about anthropomorphic steam engines who compete to be "a really useful engine" in the eyes of a pig-eyed industrialist called Sir Topham Hatt.

"Mom, can I watch just one more Thomas?" Waylon asked, his face a caricature of exaggerated yearning. We had spent the morning jumping waves and building sand castles and flying kites on the beach. We were exhausted and a little bit sunburned. We'd had a late lunch and a shower, I'd removed most of the sand from Waylon's hair, and now we were lounging on the worn couch of our rented beach house, waiting for Katy and Brian to return from band practice.

"OK," I said, cuddling him closer. "You can watch one more episode. But you have to turn it off when Uncle Brian gets back."

Two days earlier, when Brian and his wife Kathy arrived at our house in Austin, Waylon had dutifully dispensed hugs and kisses before retreating to the safety of his toys. Today was our first full day at the beach, and Waylon was still a little shy around the newcomers.

I remembered what it was like to meet some relative whom your parents always talked about. You felt pressure to produce fond feelings, to fall in love with this new person. But it was awkward, even stifling, because the relationship was pre-defined. I was thinking about how to help Waylon feel comfortable (and succumbing to a familiar Thomas and Friends stupor) when I heard the sound of boots on the outside stairs. Katy came in first, walked over, kissed us both, and sat on the couch. Brian entered next, nodded in our general direction, and headed to the fridge for a beer.

Over the past 24 hours, Brian had become increasingly edgy and withdrawn. Today's practice was the first of only three full rehearsals for the show. Some of the band members hadn't touched their instruments for almost 20 years. From the look on Brian's face, I guessed things hadn't gone so well.

brian_rokitt.jpgHe brought his beer into the living room and sat across from us, looking pale beneath his five o' clock shadow. He looked like a different man from the rocker in Katy's old photos. His long, bleached hair was now short and dark. He wore cargo shorts and a baggy T-shirt. It was hard to believe that he'd once pranced around the stage in eyeliner and a jockstrap. Right now he looked like he'd prefer to crawl under a blanket and never come out.

"Waylon," I said, "it's time to turn off Thomas." I was afraid that the minor dramas of the station house would push Brian over the edge.

For once, Waylon turned off the TV without complaining. While Katy and I chatted about band practice, he dragged Master the robot from behind the couch and began to play in Brian's vicinity. I could see Waylon looking at this new grown-up from the corner of his eye. I guessed that he wanted to engage, but he wasn't quite sure how to begin. He flipped Master's switch on and off, over and over again.

"I-am-Master. I-sense-your-fear."

"I-am-Master. I-sense-your-fear."

"I-am..."

"Wait," Brian said, coming out of his reverie, "What is he saying?"

Waylon repeated it for him slowly, "He says 'I sense your fear.'"

"No," Brian said, deadpan. "No." Waylon looked confused, almost heartbroken.

"No," Brian explained, "He says, 'I-am-Master. I'll-buy-you-a-beer.'"

Waylon cracked up. Apparently this was one of the funniest things he'd ever heard. He couldn't stop repeating it, talking over Master's mechanical voice, forcing the robot to buy endless rounds of cheer for everyone in the living room.

To be continued.

Read the entire series

Photo credit:

Thomas the Tank Engine arrives at Bury (Paul Anderson) / CC BY-SA 2.0


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I am greatly enjoying this series. My own son is now 19, but I do remember times like these. Now it seems heartwarming and nostalgic, but at the time there were a lot of mixed emotions. But your words bring me a smile.

Maybe when you're finished running this as a series, we can run it as an all-in-one post to see which does better.