"Masturbation can be a form of homosexuality because it is a sexual act that does not involve a woman. If a man were to masturbate while engaged in other forms of sexual intimacy with his wife then he would not be doing so in a homosexual way. However, any man who does so without his wife in the room is bordering on homosexuality activity, particularly if he's watching himself in a mirror and being turned on by his own male body."
- Pastor Mark Driscoll of Seattle's Mars Hill Church, from Porn-Again Christian: A Frank Discussion on Pornography & Masturbation for God's Men
There's a whole lot of fun in that statement, like the idea that only men masturbate (sorry, Mark, but women are able to experience sexual pleasure without you around) and the implication that he likes to look at himself in the mirror when he masturbates, not that there's anything wrong with that.
Masturbation has to be one of the least offensive things I've heard homosexuality compared to by a fundamentalist, so there's that. I'm more worried about the people who listen to Driscoll and others like him, who learn to hate something that they're probably going to do anyway and hate it because they think it makes them like us.
(imgsrc: image has been modified - link is NSFW)