Kate Clinton

World Serious

Filed By Kate Clinton | October 24, 2011 2:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Entertainment, Fundie Watch, Living
Tags: George W. Bush, Texas Rangers, World Series

I've had a major recurrence of my Bush Tourette Syndrome*. At its peak, it was debilitating. Once when I was screaming at then somehow george-bush-texas-rangers.jpgPresident George Bush on TV, a friend's three-year-old, terrified by my outburst and very very bad language, pleaded softly, "Please use your inside voice."

My doctors had warned me of a recurrence.

Nevertheless I am shocked by its virulence. It has been flaring up during the World Series, this year between the St. Louis Cardinals and the Texas Rangers. Perhaps my system is predisposed to relapse by the disoriented realization that neither team is the Yankees.

Both teams are young, scrappy, never-say-die and fun to watch. It's not that.

It starts whenever the camera flashes on a Texas Ranger warming up in the on-deck circle. Over his right shoulder, slightly obscured by fencing, I spot a catatonically still Laura Bush with a twitching George next to her. Once after some nifty Ranger play the camera caught Bush smirkily high-fiving Ranger owner, Nolan Ryan.

Uncontrollable screaming seized me, veins popping out my neck, spittle hitting the flat screen.

Spitting is a big part of baseball but since this is a family website, I won't give you my rant's full rendition. Here is the gist: Why is George Bush having such a swell life for himself? Why is he not in jail?

*In using the descriptive "Bush" I mean no insult to anyone with Tourette syndrome.

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Yes, Kate, thank you for validating my similar response. Flashes of revulsion and rage are impeding my enjoyment of the games. Three months of hawkwatching on the TX Gulf Coast last fall, and the Rangers trouncing of NY in the 2010 playoffs made me a Ranger fan. We can get through this!

Om Kalthoum | October 25, 2011 2:40 PM

Hey. The White Sox didn't even make the playoffs so I was spared all that grief. I take some solace in Anybody But The Yankees or Red Sox playing in the World Series, however.

Just wanted to observe that Shrub must have picked up stadium seating pointers from his daddy. In all three 2005 playoff games in Houston between the Astros and the St. Louis Cardinals, the Bushes Elder were seated such that they were visible to TV viewers for every pitch of every inning!

When it came to their towel waving hi jinks in the World Series that year, however, Pappy and Babs were disappointed to watch their team being swept by the White Sox. And we all know who the Number One Fan of the White Sox is, right?

Kate, two suggestions:

(1) Have you tried meditation? I find that 20 minutes a day for a month makes a noticable difference. It's not easy at first, but stick with it. The Buddhist compassion exercise wishing peace and happiness to all sentient beings, includes even George W. Bush (but barely).

(2) There are 12-step programs for uncontrollable emotions ... shop around online for one that appeals to you ... and you will find support, experience, strength, and hope.