Tobi Hill-Meyer

Queer Families: Poignant Holiday Letter

Filed By Tobi Hill-Meyer | December 26, 2011 12:30 PM | comments

Filed in: Living, Transgender & Intersex
Tags: family of choice, queer family, Sadie Vashti

open_letter.jpegThe holiday season can be very difficult for queer people who have strained or non-existent relationships with their families. I grew up in a queer family and have been lucky enough that my being trans was only an issue for my family for a couple of years. However, this is such a strong issue in our community that I still feel impacted each year. Invariably some of my friends struggle with depression and pain. I've often tried to give support and this year in particular I have worried after saying goodbye to a girlfriend as she goes home to family who still call her by the wrong pronouns and condemn much of what is important in her life.

I've seen people try to deal with this in different ways, one of my favorites being queer community dinners to create new family and traditions. Another response comes in the form of "An Open Letter to the Woman Who Gave Birth to Me in Honor of a Holiday I No Longer Celebrate," a poignant and moving letter by Sadie Vashti.

Sadie writes:

This letter is addressed to the person who used to be my mother. I wrote it completely on a whim. I'm pretty narcissistic, and this letter may seem a bit self-indulgent. (It's also somewhat bitter, sarcastic, funny, vindictive, and potentially very triggering.) But this is because I've been feeling very powerless and alone, and writing this was therapeutic. Zoe described it as "broken and triumphant and scathing." It was empowering to write, and has already been empowering for some to read -- so I'm sharing it here. (I don't actually know how to contact my former mother, but maybe she'll google search me some day...)

Sadie has touched a nerve and her story is compelling. She may have written it in a personal attempt at self care, but it's clear that many others can identify with what she's written and find it very meaningful. The letter itself is too long to excerpt, so follow the link and read it.


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