Steven Cheslik-DeMeyer

I'm Getting Married in May

Filed By Steven Cheslik-DeMeyer | February 23, 2012 1:30 PM | comments

Filed in: Living, Marriage Equality
Tags: gay marriage, marriage, Mohonk Mountain House, New Paltz, same-sex marriage, weddings

Last Saturday C and I drove a Zipcar up to Mohonk Mountain House in New Paltz, New York to taste appetizers and cake that the chef prepared for us. We have to choose two, maybe three, appetizers for the cocktail hour, and of course only one cake.Mohonk_Mountain_House1-T1.jpg

We both loved the mini-lamb chop with rosemary, no question. We both also loved the parmesan and artichoke-filled phyllo pastry and the tuna carpaccio with shaved fennel, but C thought many of our guests would be put off by raw fish, so he suggested we should go with the pastry. I liked the combination of the lamb with the cold tuna, rather than two hot appetizers, and I thought enough of our guests would find it as delicious as we did, and those who didn't, well, there would be cheese and crudités. We don't have to decide right now.

The cake was easy. We knew all along we wanted a chocolate cake, so we had the chef create different configurations of various types of chocolate cake with different frostings and ganaches. We decided on a chocolate sponge cake with Italian buttercream filling and an orange-infused ganache frosting. It will be a three or four-tiered cake (no pillars) decorated with fresh flowers.

I am getting married in May. We chose Mohonk Mountain House, a sprawling 19th century resort hotel nestled in the foothills of the Catskills, because our families are coming from all over, and we wanted to show off our beautiful state where there are gorgeous mountains and lakes and rivers, and gay people can get married.

The last couple of months have been a frenzy of planning, and I've wanted so badly to blog through what feels like a remarkable time in my life and in the life of our state, our nation, and our community. But of course the more stuff there is going on that I want to write about the less time there is to write. The blogger's dilemma. But I'm going to give it my best shot, try diligently to chronicle the lead up to this crazy event.

Also on Saturday, we had lunch with the minister who will be officiating the ceremony and the woman who will be doing the flowers. It was one of the most enjoyable weekends I've had in years. Sunday morning I baked scones, and we ate them in bed with the New York Times.

Sunday evening, I baked an apple pie. We needed a day of indulgence. We've been dieting in an effort to look good in our tuxedos on our wedding day. (Now I know why brides have a reputation for being cranky. They're starving.)

In between, C shopped online for ties for our groomsmen. We found and ordered a two-groom cake topper, and I created a wedding web site.

I emailed the link to both our moms so they could proofread and give us feedback on the site before we send out invitations. They both immediately signed the "guestbook" telling us how glad they are we found each other, how much they love us, and how excited they are about the wedding. One of the best things about this whole proceeding is that I've been in much more frequent contact with my parents and siblings.

I will end this post here. I find the main obstacle to regular blogging is setting my expectations too high. There's much to write about, but I don't have to write about all of it tonight. This is a wildly joyful time for me. But also strange and complicated. I don't think I would believe any homosexual who told me his or her thoughts about marriage were not complicated, and I hope that as I narrate this episode I can tease out some of those tangled threads.

Right now I have to think of stuff to put on our gift registry. When you say you're getting married, people want to buy you stuff.


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