Heya folks. I'm getting started one week late, but I plan on making this a weekly recap.
In case you missed last week's premier, here's what happened:
Season 4, Episode 1: RuPocalypse Now!
We meet the new queens, hot men shoot paint all over them, previous seasons' stars turn into zombies and eat Season 3's favorite Queen to hate Shangela, and Ru's ladies forge post-apocalyptic couture from the remnants. Blood dripping Sharon Needles wins, and Jiggly Caliente and Alisa Summers lip sync for their lives. Jiggly lives for another day, and Alisa saches away.
And now for the main event!
Season 4, Episode 2: WTF! Wrestling's Trashiest Fighters
We start with the ladies in the work room, and like the best of reality TV, our first talking heads foreshadow the ending. We discover that the girls are already loving to hate last weeks final 2 survivor, Jiggly Caliente, and last weeks second place winner, Lashauwn Beyond is called the "Silent Killer." Be warned.
Eww Girl! You got She-mail:
For tonight's mini challenge, Ru orders the girls to "Make an ass of yourself." They are divided into groups of three, stocked with foam rubber, and given 30 minutes to carve a new ass. Best ass from each team wins. Best advice on padding from last weeks winner, Sharon Needles, "When making your ass, always draw the shape of Africa." Point taken.
Each team does their walk-offs and the winners are: Ms. Phi Phi O'Hare, Ms. William(pronounced Will-Um), and Ms. Chad Michaels. Condragulation. Each winner will be team captains for the main challenge and are allowed to pick their teams.
And this weeks main challenge? The girls must transform themselves into wrestling's trashiest fighters, the ladies of the WTF.
We go to the greatest cut away of the night, my new favorite ex-con (sorry Martha Stewart) Latrice Royale, "I am a big bitch. Who is gonna out wrestle me? Nobody."
The teams are chosen: Team Phi Phi consists of Latrice Royale (obviously the smartest first pick), Kenya Michaels (the world's smallest drag queen), and Lashauwn Beyond; Team William consists of Dida Ritz, the Princess (why not the Queen?), and Jiggly Claiente (at least she wasn't last); and Team Chad consists of Milan, Sharon Needles (dark, goth, and my current favorite), and Madame LaQueer (last picked because of an ankle injury).
Each team divides into the Faces (the heroines) and the Heels (the villains), then head off to create a backstory, looks, and moves before some "professional" wrestling lessons. Nothing beats seeing drag queens throw themselves at each other.
And it is time for the main event. We meet our judges, former NBA players Rick Fox and John Salley (what basketball has to do with professional wrestling is beyond me) and the first team up is Team Phi Phi.
We start with the Faces, Lashauwn and Phi Phi who have slipped hair growth formula into the Heels' (Latrice and Kenya) hair products. The Hills enter with Kenya sporting hair almost the same size as her. The fight is on.
Latrice proves her earlier statement and kicks ass, while Kenya goes off like a firecracker. The Faces do nothing worth mentioning. The Heels win!
Next up is Team William. We start with the Faces (William and Dida) making insults as the Heels (Jiggly and the Princess) enter. The backstory involves a coach and being kicked out of high school (they all went to school together?). I'm confused and not impressed. The fight is on.
Second favorite comment of the night: William calls Jiggly a plus sized JuJubee (a Season 2 runner-up). And that is honestly the most interesting thing that happens in the ring. The Heels win. Yawn.
And finally Team Chad. We began with the Faces (Sharon and Milan) who by far have the greatest back story. It seems that the Heels (Chad and Madame LaQueer) have given the Faces crabs by sleeping with their boyfriends. The fight is on.
The Faces enter with a tongue kiss, and Madame LaQueer enters channeling Divine. Third favorite comment of the night: Sharon calls Madame LaQueer "Kristie Alley before Dancing With the Stars." Once again the Heels kick ass, and all the drama about LaQueer's ankle was just a necessary time filler.
The girls return to the work room to transform back into their more lady-like personas and dress in their own drag for the runway.
Jiggy hates on the princess, Latrice gives Lashauwn a motherly pep-talk, and Madame LaQueer makes Chad's surgically altered tear glands turn on with a story about her unsupportive family.
On to the main stage:
The girls walk the runway then the judging begins. Besides the NBA players, we have the usual panelists, RuPaul, Michelle Visage, and standing in for Santo Rices is Billy B.
They start with the winners of the challenge: Team Chad Michaels, with Chad and Madame LaQueer coming in first. They receive a wig collection, but no immunity for next week. The winners leave the stage.
The bottom three this week are the Princess, Dida, and Lashauwn. Dida is in and the Princess and Lashauwn must lip sync for their lives. The Princess successfully keeps her crown, and the Silent Killer, Lashauwn saches away.
Next week on: The girls discover the world of infommercials .
Make sure to check out new episodes of RuPaul's Drag Race on Logo, Mondays at 9:00pm EST and full episode online the day after.