James Holmes

RuPaul's Drag Race Recap Season 4, Episode 7

Filed By James Holmes | March 13, 2012 5:30 PM | comments

Filed in: Entertainment, Marriage Equality
Tags: drag queen racing, RuPaul, Season 4

rupaul.jpegHeya folks. Since my night job has claimed my Monday nights for the rest of the month, I am back to recaps.

I'm going to treat this as I do the live blogging since this is my first time watching the episode. Timestamps are how many minutes into the show we are in case you feel like skipping around.

Let's get this race started after the jump.

Last week the girls celebrated pride with cardboard boats. Nothing like a good history lesson. Madame Willam of the perpetual 5 o'clock shadow won, and Milan and Jiggly lips synced for their lives. Milan was confused and stripped instead and was told to sache away.

Tonights Episode: Dragazines

You Got a She Mail!

The mini challenge is to read each other because Reading is Fundamental:

#theLibraryisOpen

3:00

Dida:

What's that Smell? Oh. That's just Sharon Needles.

Jiggly, congrats on being the first contestant with-child.

Latrice, you're free now. You don't have to rock the yard sandals anymore.

Jiggly:

Dida, there's some lotion in my bag. You look like you've been on your hands and knees walking through flour.

Chad/Momma Cher - It's Forever 21 not 41.

Willam, you're face like marble - that shit don't move.

PhiPhi:

Jiggly - JuJubee, helium is for balloons, not your stomach.

Willam, i know you are talented at buying shoes but are you talented a doing drag?

Sharon, I love how you work the Party City

Willam:

Dida, I'm not sure if that's haute courture of hole courture cause there are holes in that shirt.

Phi Phi, you are a pretty girl. You catch the camera from the right but by the left you snag it. (Help me folks - I'm confused by that).

Chad, you're so old you're still on MySpace.

Chad:

Tonight in the category of butch queen - Dida Ritz!

Jiggly, here's my dentist's card. Use it.

Willam likes to think he's Carrie Bradshaw. In the sequel, he's Scary Bradshaw.

Latrice:

Jiggly, BMW - Body Made Wrong. (Ha! First to make me laugh. I love you Latrice).

Phi Phi, I know reading is hard, but maybe you should learn to spell first you illiterate fuck. (Zing! there are benefits to not going first).

Willam, Miss Industry, Congrats on your new role as the Big Bad Wolf by the hair of your chinny-chin-chin. (Ha! Finally someone called him our on it! I'm glad it was you, Latrice).

Sharon Needles - Two words. Sideshow Freak.

Sharon:

Dida, I know you queens like to judge me for painting my face on the gray side, but I'm just inspired by your knees - Or the same color of Willam's chin. (Ha! Two in one. I love you Sharon).

PhiPhi, what bland of make-up do you wear? Sherman Willams?

Jiggly, you're such a fat slut after sex you smoke hams. (Eesh).

Library is closed. I'm calling it for Latrice.

And the winner is? Latrice!!! Yay!

7:00

For the main challenge the girls must create their own Dragazine. They must create a cover, choose the articles and make it their own.

Latrice gets to assign titles:

Jiggly - Battle of the Bulge, a fitness magazine. (Obvious)

Dida - Tastes Like Chicken, a food magazine.

Willam - Sugar Walls, a home decor magazine.

Sharon - Kitty Cats, a cat lovers magazine. (What's a bad witch without a cat?)

PhiPhi - Sashay Away, a travel magazine. (Dammit. I've been spelling that wrong for weeks. Thanks Wikipedia).

Chad - Eleganza, a fashion magazine.

Latrice - she saves What's the T?, a gossip magazine for herself.

9:00

Dida - "This challenge will separate out the intellectuals." I doubt it.

For inspiration Jiggly has a basket of chips and candy in front of her. Poor, Poor Jiggly. "What the fuck do I know about working out?"

She starts asking everyone if she should make this serious or funny. Against everyone's advice she goes with serious. I'm going to call it now. Bye bye Jiggly.

11:00

Dida is worried she'll come across as too offensive - A black girl on a cover titled Taste's Like Chicken. Latrice - Get over it. You're a boy in a dress.

Check-in time.

Dida - nothing interesting.

PhiPhi - Ru worries she is going in the direction of her failed Lady Gaga

Willam - I prefer Editor and Queef. Ha! She seems list here. No ideas.

Jiggly - Ru hates that she is taking it seriously. Embrace the Jiggly. But she sticks to her guns.

Latrice - You'll want to buy it because she is on the cover. (Like Oprah?) Ru Seems unimpressed.

Sharon - no check-in. Safe.

Chad - no check-in. Safe.

16:00

Photo Shoot Time.

I want the photographer.

Dida: Eating Chicken. I guess she got over it.

Sharon: She is rocking a Little Eddie costume. I LOVE YOU!

Jiggly: She can't remember the name of her magazine and tries to jump rope but never succeeds. Bye Bye Jiggly.

Chad: Pretty. That's about it.

PhiPhi: Looks surprisingly great tonight. Long and blond actually is working for her tonight.

Latrice: Is that Aretha laying on that couch? I think she is going to make out with the Pit-Crew.

Willam: Why are you naked? And COVER THE 5 O'CLOCK SHADOW!!!!!

22:00

Next day. For the runway - glossy glam.

The girls all tell their stories of paste discrimination.

Latrice is ripped for not supporting calling it marriage - She'd prefer something more fabulous.

Sharon - I fully support gay divorce!

25:00

Runway time.

The guest judges are Pam Tillis and Ragina King ("Ru - You need to show me how to do the wind blown look without a fan." So do I).

They walk the runway.

Sharon looks glamorous tonight.

Dida Ritz - Not just a cracker.

Chad - I like the short here. Way to branch out.

Latrice - Oh no. That dress is hideous. I hope her magazine is great.

Willam - 5 o'clock shadow. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE someone call her out.

Jiggly - I don't like you in yellow.

PhiPhi - I agree. This is a good night for her.

28:00

Magazine Covers:

Chad - They didn't know what magazine it was. Safe.

Dida - Biggest criteque is her hair. Safe

Sharon - Pussy for Hipsters! I love her. They would like to see her without creepy eyes. WHY? Safe.

Latrice - They hate the magazine and dress. OH NO! They call her a couch and her bracelet breaks.

Willam - THANK GOD! FINALLY. They cut her on the shadow and HATE the magazine. Willam has no excuses. YAY! Will we have a lip sync miracle.

Jiggly - No fun. They wanted funny. Bye bye Jiggly.

PhiPhi - They love everything, and I'll admitt. So do I.

Most of those were horrible. Bad Challenge.

33:00

Chad - runway made up for the magazine.

Dida - just in the middle.

Sharon - Love her comedy. But not the best.

Latrice - not much except she looked bad.

Willam - ROBOT!

Jiggly - Self sabotage.

PhiPhi - Best only because everything else was bad. They hate her yellow hat with yellow hair. "Looked like a dead baby lamb. Who would want that? Sharon Needles". Ha!

36:00

PhiPhi - WINNER. Her prize is a cruise to the Bahamas.

Sharon - Safe. Called it.

Dida - Safe.

Chad - Safe. Called it.

Jiggly - Lip Sync - I'm guessing for the last time.

Latrice - Safe.

Willam - Lip Sync time. YES!

36:00

Tonight's song: "Mi Vida Loca" by Pam Tillis. Sucks to have the artist as the judge.

Willam can move about as much as her face, but poor Jiggly feels fated. They still like Willam too much and think she pulls off country well - and she didn't wear panties. I think that usually helps.

Willam lives for another day, and Jiggly SASHAYS away.

See ya next week.



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