Joseph Gentile

War Paint Edition [What You Need to Know]

Filed By Joseph Gentile | August 14, 2012 10:00 AM | comments

Filed in: Living, Marriage Equality
Tags: Angela Merkel, anti-gay bullying, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Arizona, Big Sandy, blacks, civil rights, Dan Matthews, Democrats, DeWitt R. Thomas, drag queens, First Amendment, fur, Germany, Harvest Feast, Lady Gaga, LGBT athletes, Lutherans, Maryland, medals, Minnesota, National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, NBC, Nobel Prize, Olympics 2012, PETA, racism, Rev. Anita Hill, San Francisco, St. Paul, Stars Earn Stripes, Stephen Colbert, Texas, The Colbert Report, The Most Holy Redeemer Catholic Church, Thomas Beatie, transgender, tv, WYNTK

War Paint.jpgNine of the Nobel Committee's highly-regarded doves are on the attack, and they've trained their crosshairs upon Todd Palin. Incensed at NBC for incorporating Stars Earn Stripes, a commando-inspired, reality TV competition, into their regular weekly lineup, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, and eight other Nobel Peace Prize Laureates, lobbed a tersely-worded letter at the channel's executives for glorifying war as a spectator's sport.

"This program pays homage to no one anywhere and continues and expands on an inglorious tradition of glorifying war and armed violence. Real war is down in the dirt deadly. People -- military and civilians -- die in ways that are anything but entertaining," the Laureates fumed about the program pairing minor celebrities (actor Dean Cain, singer Nick Lachey and Mr. Sarah Palin himself, among others) with mentors from the United States Armed Forces who then train them to complete missions for charity.

Hosted by retired Army Gen. Wesley Clark, Stars Earns Stripes isn't shy about exposing its contestants to the dangers of combat through challenges exposing them to actual live ammunition and explosives. But as the New York Times coyly pointed out, "That is an absurd overstatement, of course, since no one is shooting back or planting roadside bombs intended for them."

Try not to let your war paint smudge. It's what you need to know:


  • No tea, no shade, but the Most Holy Redeemer Catholic Church of San Francisco would rather NOT see drag queens at the annual Harvest Feast fundraiser held by the Castro Country Club, an LGBT addiction recovery group, at their church.

  • Oh, baby. Thomas "The Pregnant Man" Beatie hasn't convinced an Arizona judge of his right (as a trans man) to leave his wife, Nancy - with whom he raised three children - because state law doesn't recognize same-sex marriage, or divorce.

  • The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF) might be going all-in to defend Maryland's Civil Marriage Protection Act this November, but Democrats are beginning to ask if the NGLTF might have a gambling problem?

  • If you inform a black grocery bagger you "can't have someone negroidal touch my food," and the store manager tells you to leave, does it violate your civil rights? Shopper DeWitt R. Thomas of Big Sandy, Texas believes that's so, because (as a white male) "It would be the same as if you asked that a congoid (a person from west/central Africa) not touch your food."

  • Let the fur fly! Openly gay Senior VP Dan Matthews of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) erupted at musical artist and hypocrite, Lady Gaga, after photographs of Mother Monster in a sweeping, knee-length gray fur coat surfaced online (Gaga later confirmed the fur to be real via Twitter.)

  • Congregants of Gustavus Adolphus Luthern Church in St. Paul, Minn. encountered an unforeseen hazard last Saturday after a celebration for their newly-installed lesbian pastor ended in an act of anti-gay vandalism.

  • Hypothetically, if the fictional Queendom of Gaysreal (as recognized by The Colbert Report) existed, our medal haul of four golds, one silver and two bronzes beat 169 out of the 204 countries competing at these recent Olympic Games.

  • The Tax Man cometh. Members of German Chancellor Angela Merkel's party, the Christian Democrats, are pushing for tax benefits for same-sex couples that equal those of married ones.

(War Paint image via Flickr)


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