"The cake has got to go. The original wedding cake was a biscuit broken over the bride's head to represent what was about to happen to her hymen. But that's vulgar. Today the happy couple jointly hold a very phallic knife and together force it through the virginal white icing into the soft, moist sweetness, and in America, for those who are slow at symbolism, they then push cake into each other's face as a sort of cakealingus."
-- Vanity Fair writer A.A. Gill in "Can This Wedding Be Saved?" Gill posits that allowing gays and lesbians to tie the knot can only improve the dated ceremonies by adding a touch of fabulousness to the proceedings.