"Recently my lecturer at the Department of Chemical Engineering, Profesor D S Aribuike, pointedly told me that I will win Nobel prize one day, because he found that my works are real and nobody has done it in any part of the world," Chibuihem Amalaha bragged to the local newspaper.
What could possibly have Amalaha, Aribuike, and the university staff hailing a scientific breakthrough worthy of a Nobel prize? Amalaha has used magnets to "prove" that gay and lesbian relationships are "unnatural."
Mr Amalaha claimed that as the poles of magnets repel those of the same type, this "means that man cannot attract another man because they are the same, and a woman should not attract a woman because they are the same. That is how I used physics to prove gay marriage wrong".
"In recent time I found that gay marriage, which is homosexuality and lesbianism, is eating deep into the fabric of our human nature all over the world and this was why nations of Sodom and Gomora were destroyed by God because they were into gay practice," he said.
He said his next goal is to get his research published in international journals.
Good luck with that, buddy.
Something tells me that when he finds out that human beings aren't magnets, it'll blow his mind. Talk about another amazing scientific breakthrough sure to transform mankind!