John M. Becker

Watch One Straight Ally's Powerful 'Aha' Moment

Filed By John M. Becker | September 26, 2013 6:30 PM | comments

Filed in: Living, Marriage Equality
Tags: aha moment, Baptist, Baptist Church, David Stevens, epiphany, gay marriage, marriage equality, same-sex marriage, straight allies, straight ally, tear-jerker

david_stevens.pngCheck out this incredible video from a man named David Stevens, who's part of a group for straight allies called Evol = (website, Facebook).

In it, David talks about his love for his gay younger brother, his brother's awesome husband, and how their recent wedding "filled [his] heart." He then shares a message sent to him by a now-former friend, who was so upset with David for posting photos of his brother's wedding that he defriended him on Facebook because he just couldn't stand seeing what he called "anti-God stuff." (This former friend has since gone on to become a Baptist preacher. Bless his heart!)

And then David says it hit him: this kind of hurtful rejection is what millions of LGBT people have experienced or will experience in the future.

Listen to him tell his story, after the jump. Have tissues handy, though -- you may need them.

David's story hits close to home for me. My husband's father sent him a similar message in 2006 in response to an invitation to our wedding reception. Although he didn't disown Michael completely, he did spout all kinds of homophobic bile about how our love was an insult to God and to the faith of his parents, how being LGBT was a "choice," and how I was not Michael's husband, but his "friend." Oh, and he wouldn't be attending our reception.

Needless to say, Michael was stunned and deeply, deeply hurt. Their relationship has never recovered. Equally needless to say, I -- being the fiercely protective spouse that I am -- wrote Michael's father a stinging reply that put him in his proper place and demanded the basic respect that any decent excuse for a father would give to their child and that child's spouse. In the handful of occasions we've crossed paths since, he's never dared to speak to Michael in such a hateful, hurtful way again, which is very wise of him.

Thankfully, there are many people like David in both Michael's family and mine -- people who embrace their LGBT family members with love. But this kind of hurtful rejection is something that we, like so many others, know intimately.

What about you? Share your story below.


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