John M. Becker

Lobbyist Drafting Bill to Ban Gays From NFL

Filed By John M. Becker | February 25, 2014 2:00 PM | comments

Filed in: Politics
Tags: gay athletes, gay ban, Jack Burkman, LGBT athletes, Michael Sam, NFL, publicity stunts, weird news

jack-burkman.pngNo, seriously.

Jack Burkman, a high-powered Republican lobbyist here in D.C., announced yesterday that he's drafting legislation to ban gay men from playing in the NFL.

The Hill reports:

"We are losing our decency as a nation," Burkman said in a statement. "Imagine your son being forced to shower with a gay man. That's a horrifying prospect for every mom in the country. What in the world has this nation come to?"

Burkman said he came up with the idea after college football star Michael Sam publicly revealed he is gay a few weeks ago. If drafted, Sam would be the first openly gay player in the NFL.

Local ABC affiliate WJLA-TV interviewed Burkman about his shameless PR stunt very serious proposal last night. Watch his conversation with anchor Mike Conneen, after the jump.

Two things. First, as Conneen pointed out, we're already in locker rooms at your local YMCA, sports club, gym, school, and yes, professional sports team -- because gays are everywhere. (Muah hahahaha!) Second, don't flatter yourself dude: not every man-loving-man is going to want to bang you. Gay men are no more attracted to every single other man than straight man are attracted to every single woman. (My my, somebody's insecure!)

Burkman claims he has support in Congress for his bill, but refused to list even one politician by name when Conneen asked. However, he predicted that within 20 days, he'd have "36 members in the House, six in the Senate" willing to go on record in support of his crackpot bill.

Rrrrrright.

Burkman's younger brother Jim is an anesthesiologist in Seattle and a out and proud gay man. He slammed his brother in an interview yesterday:

"I think the idea that he is pushing legislation that is just hurtful and ridiculous is just plain stupid," said Jim Burkman. "He is not a legislator and he can't really push legislation. I don't think there are any cosponsors for a bill. It is just an attention grab and a media grab to pander to those folks who pay him to lobby on their behalf.

"He is my brother and I love him, and we don't see eye-to-eye on any political issues, certainly gay rights," Jim Burkman added. "But I told him years ago he should back off on gay issues, and if he ever crosses the line I would be happy to speak up as his gay brother. Today I felt he crossed the line."

To make matters crazier, John Aravosis notes that Burkman seems to have a strange concept of "decency," as his phone number was allegedly found on the D.C. Madam's phone list several years ago. Furthermore, this isn't the first time Burkman has made Neanderthal comments about gays. Last year he said:

You know, and it's a fact that gays, gays have a much much higher molestation rate of small children than straight people....

Well, they convert. You know, they're trained - what really gets me about the gay movement today is they train young members to convert others. It's like an extremist religion. It's almost like Islam. You're trained to do these conversions.... They do these conversions, I've seen it done.

Of course, this claim too is bullshit.

Burkman clearly suffers from a chronic case of the Gay Hysteria -- he's obsessed with gay people, gay sex, gay athletes in the shower, gay people having gay sex... The lobbyist seems so fixated on gay men's bodies that he is apparently unable to discuss gay people without talking about them nude and/or having sex. In fact, I'd be curious to know just how much time Burkman spends thinking about naked gay men.

Fortunately for him, though, there's a cure: an open mind and an evolved conscience. With these tools, many people have been able to walk away from the Gay Hysterical lifestyle. Let's hope Burkman can be the next.b


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